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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and until last night I thought we were very happy. I was going through his sent emails innocently searching for a work-related one when i found a message he'd sent asking for an online 'masseuse' to send him pictures of her. He said he wanted a 'massage' on a day that I was due to be working.I feel like I've been hit by a truck and my world is in bits. I confronted him and he's been sobbing like a baby, saying he was looking for a genuine massage (he has back probs) but was intrigued when this advert came up on a listings site. He is adament that it was just curiosity and says she never emailed back and that even if she had he just wanted to see if she was attractive and that he would never have even entertained the idea of having 'extras'. I have told him to leave our house - he swears on his mother's life he's never cheated and says he never would but I feel all the trust has been destroyed. He is not the world's greatest communicator but we recently talked about having kids together for the first time and I was over the moon which is why this is such a body blow. He's pleading for forgiveness but I can't bear to be near him right now. What should I do? I'm desperate for advice Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): Take some time off to figure things out. Have a cool-off period wherein you can be alone and you can sort your feelings without him. After a month you will know if this is just another mistake on his part, or is this a sign that he is a future cheater.
I know the trust is gone, but it can be back. Your man needs to do all the right things and prove to you that he is faithful and worth loving.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): Have you talked about getting married??? I would give him another chance until you find actual evidence of why he wouldnt want to be with you. 6 years is a long time... ask yourself if you still truly love him- if so it is worth mending...
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female
reader, jaynehaigh +, writes (28 November 2006):
I would take some time to think things through. Don't make any hasty decisions. You can regain the trust - but only if you want to.
I know you are hurting and wondering why he would do this to you but maybe he WAS just being curious.
Have you ever had any reason to not trust him in the past? If the answer is no I would give him the benefit of the doubt.
He obviously loves you and does not want to lose you.
I wish you all the bestxx
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