A
female
age
36-40,
*eglisson
writes:So, today I was waiting for my boyfriend to get back to our apartment and I was sitting on the floor with our puppy. Well, I brushed my hand across the carpet and my finger got (grossly) tangled in some hair. I absolutely hate loose hair...but anyway. I picked it up to throw it away when I realized how insanely long it was. So I looked at it. It's really really dark brown and long. At first I didn't think anything about it because I use to have long hair and figured it just hadn't been vaccumed up or something. But then I realize that when my hair was that long it was blonde! I just dyed it dark, dark brown (at my boyfriends request) but it's really short now. So I took that hair to the bathroom to see if it could, possibly, be mine. Yeah, that would be a negative. I just moved in with him and his roommate because of roommate issues at my own place. So, maybe it's his roommates girlfriends hair? No. She's blonde. He has no family in the area and none of his friends ever come over because he sees them at work all day. I know for a fact that no one that should be in the apartment has been. So, how's freakin hair is this?I'm upset because I dont want to bring it up if it's something that should just be overlooked. But at the same time, I can't get it out of my head. Maybe I'm being paranoid but the more I think about it, the more worried I get. I admit that I've cheated in the past and that was a huge trust issue my boyfriend and I had to work through. But I would never, ever do anything to hurt him like that. And until today I really believed he would never do anything like that. Another thing I've noticed is that he's always tired after work (he works for Comcast) which worries me because that's how he and I originally met. Please, am I being paranoid or is this an issue that needs to be addressed? And if so, how do I do it tactfully and without seeming defensive/untrusting?!
View related questions:
am I being paranoid, at work, moved in, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dipsydoodlenoodle  +, writes (14 July 2008):
It might have been innocenly dragged into the house from a shoe or a coat. A coat may have been hung up at work, next to someone with long hair, the hair got stuck to either yours or your boyfriends coat and been brushed off onto the floor? It might be innocent!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 oops.. sorry mate, I misread your post.
my apologies.
...............................
A
female
reader, leglisson +, writes (3 July 2008):
leglisson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor the record I said, "I admit that I've cheated in the past and that was a huge trust issue my boyfriend and I had to work through. But I would never, ever do anything to hurt him like that." This means that the cheating was on someone else and very difficult circumstances. It doesn't make it right but it certainly doesn't mean that I am trying to turn the tables on him. This is why I didn't just flat out accuse him of anything. I was worried, that's all. Anyway, I made him dinner last night and he was very gracious. I realized that he loves me very much and that I shouldn't be afraid to love back. So what if it crashes and burns? At least it'll be a hell of a ride! Thanks to all of you. I'm just going to stay alert and loving.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): Sorry I don't agree with the other posts. My best friend (mother of 2 at the time) was sweeping the kitchen floor as normal as she did every day - keeping it clean for the kids - and she brushed up a long dark hair. Her hair was pale blonde. When she held it up she just instinctively knew something had been going on.....she confronted her husband and he admitted he'd been seeing someone and that they had even been round their house behind her back. My advice. Keep the hair or look for more - especially on clothing. However I think you must have an instinct too - not paranoia. This doesn't necessarily mean he's been cheating but it is a possibility - don't write it off.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (3 July 2008):
Hi,
you are overreacting. I think your own infidelity is still haunting you, you almost subconciously want him to cheat on you to level the score.
But just because you cheated on him it doesnt mean he will do the same to you. The worst thing you can do is accuse him of this, he probably has taken a lot of emotional pain in forgiving you and now you want to turn the tables on him and accuse him of cheating on you!
I'm sorry mate but I think you've got a bit of a nerve coming to this conclusion,you are the one who was unfaithful to him not the other way around. He has forgiven you and you are looking for ways to accuse him.
If I was in his situation and you confronted me with this hair, I would probably pack my stuff and get out and thank god I had escaped.
Sorry, but get a grip on your life and start repaying the faith he has given you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): Don't give it much thought...hair is gross and clings to everything. Just might have blown in from the window. No worries love.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): Hair gets everywhere & sticks to ur carpet...just the other day I found a big red hair on mine Ive not had red hair for 2 years.
Also the hair might have been brout in on clothes or shoes.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): You should not overpanick for a tangle of hair. I mean, think about it, if he was really cheating on you and he actually had done something with someone else, why there would be a big tangle of hair? Did he rip it out of her scalp? No. Tangles of hair can come from anywhere, and I'm thinking here it must be from laundry. If he washes or dries his clothes in a laundromat he probably just got the hair from there. Or the hair could have floated away with the wind and somehow ended up there after so much time.
Don't give it much though, but if you're still unsure, just be alert. Look instead in his behavior or other things that look more suspicious than a tangle of hair.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): ok your getting all worked up over nothing, i think you should confront him and have a talk about it. ask him to explain. if your still worried and dont trust him 101% just keep a close eye on him dont worrie it could have come from any whare :)
...............................
|
