| A
female
,
*arsha
writes: My problem is this, my fiance is absolutely lovely, but just lately he has been a little crusty and rather too keen to pick holes in whatever I do. It could be the heat, it has been a very hot week here in the U.K, it could be that he's feeling stressed, we are after all in the middle of trying to find a home where we can live together. We are both disabled, he has epilepsy, I have osteoarthritis, and so have some special needs. It could be that the wedding is stressing him out. I know that it does me sometimes. You know the sort of thing, his family, my family, who needs what and so on and so on.But the thing is, I found a text message on his phone about an arrangement to meet some woman, who I've never heard of, next week. Now do I come out and say I've read your text message? I know I shouldn't have done, but did, or do I shut up and pretend I don't know anything about it? I must admit it's making me feel miserable. I have asked him if he's interested in anyone else, we have always had an agreement that if either of us felt the need to stray we would talk about it and if it was okay with us both, for there are all sorts of reasons why a man or a woman seek sex with another person, then we could with that agreement go ahead. But he's told me that definitely NO there is no other woman. So advise please and hurry this is urgent.Thank you muchlyMarsha
View related questions:
disabled, fiance, sex with another, text, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Marsha +, writes (8 July 2005):
Thank you all for your advice, I asked him about it, while admitting that I had looked at his text message, which caused a huge argument about my duplicity in reading his text messages. He denies that there was or has ever been anyone else, however I know he went to see this woman this week. I must say that I have been rather sick this week, partly through the thought of my fiance with another woman, and partly from what I think is a bug. Anyway, after he'd been to see her, and I know he was with her because while he was apparently seeing a friend of his for a chatty lunch he sent me a text message that said his phone would be off because he was going to lunch at a monestry refrectory. I mean how likely is it you would lunch at a place where you cannot speak for a chatty lunch with a friend you've not seen in ages? Anyway on his return to me, he was extremely tired, and went to sleep for three hours. We haven't spoken of it, but it is there in my mind and making me feel miserable, unattractive and rather sad. I don't know what if anything I should do, but I really don't want to carry the thought of this betrayal of heart within me.
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (4 July 2005):
Sounds to me like you have a good relationship with each other. If his situation is making you fel so bad though, youll have to ask him who the text was from.
...............................
A
female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (3 July 2005):
This could be innocent, it could even be that he is arranging a surprise for your wedding. The only way is to ask.
...............................
A
female
reader, smalltown +, writes (3 July 2005):
Marsha, what a painful position to be in right now.I don't know what you should do, but I have had a lot of years with someone who couldn't be honest and was frequently unfaithful. I feel that if your guy is cheating, you gain little by confronting him -- he'll lie, pure and simple. In fact I believe there is no way to "prove" whether or not he's being faithful.All you can do in my experience is trust your gut feelings. Playing detective will make you crazy, but you can find sanity in those deep gut feelings that try so hard to show you truth. Keep listening to them and over time you will be shown what you need to know. Taking the Super Detective route brings a lot of pain, lots of lies and few answers (a guy who cheats just gets better at hiding).Take care of yourself; the mere possibility has to come as a blow. Be as kind and loving to yourself as possible.
...............................
A
female
reader, cr_jb14 +, writes (2 July 2005):
Hi marsha, I know how you feel, believe me I do, because I have found a lot worse. Honestly I think that you should confront him about it becuase if he is your fiance than he shouldn't get mad or have anything to hide on his phone and if you dont ask you will never know what that was all about.
...............................
|
