A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my guy for almost a year and I recently found a butt plug in one of his drawers (used). I know it's his because of the receipt. Other than the butt plug, I also found out that he has responded to ads on CL to J/O with other guys (with not touching). I don't know what this means. Is he gay? We have mind-blowing sex regularly and he is completely attentive in bed. He insists he's not gay or attracted to guys. We've never done anal before either. I don't know what to make of this. Help! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, coconuts  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 Firstly, it does not mean he is gay because he likes to play with his own hole! Or to have someone else to touch him there. There are many straight men who like it up there, as pointed out that is where the he will get most sensation in the prostate gland. It is perfectly safe to insert clean objects (of acceptable size) in the anus and he may even cum that way!
It has become increasingly popular for girls to use a strap-on dildo on their boyfriends and sales have increased hugely in the past five years. This practice has become known as 'pegging' and a condom can be used to keep the dildo clean. Using these websites could indicate that he is interested in that sort of thing - feeling the sensation of something large in his anus but does not mean he would go through a homosexual act for it.
as you have a healthy and active sex life with him why not talk to him about it. Open the subject by suggesting something new. You do not need to let on that you know he has a butt plug but could suggest using one on him. If you touch his anus and he likes it then he will most likely be open to further stimulation! Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): The truth is, because of how sensitive the prostate is, and how easily it is stimulated by anal play, it's actually pretty normal for a guy to masturbate or play with his anus by inserting everything from their fingers to dildos.
Many men feel uncomfortable about admitting that they do so to their partners out of the fear of being considered gay and getting a negative response when they're doing something that is completely normal.
The responding to personals however, and the denial of it upon being found out, is an altogether more alarming behavior. Try to approach him understandingly when asking him about it - responding with shock, anger or fear that he's gay are all blows to his ego as a man, and will cause him to shut up and close you out with lying and excuses.
Still, seeking sexual attention outside of the relationship is definitely a negative (though somewhat normal) action for a man.
As stranger with limited information and being a non-expert, the best I can do is wish you luck with your situation
(side note - how could you tell it was 'used'? Was there still residue on it? For health sake, whether or not things work out, tell him to make sure that that plug is cleaned directly before and after each use - infection and contamination can lead to tragedy for both him AND you)
...............................
|
