A
male
age
36-40,
*ragano
writes:i really feel that my relationship is dying.weve been dating for one year and 8 months so far..i love her very much, and she is/was the love of my life so far. im only 20, but unlike most people my age, im only interested in long term relationships with real love, not just something that people dream of or see in movies. The girl im dating is to me the most beautiful girl ever, but i feel that our relationship is dying.She is ill/quick tempered-anything that she finds annoying from her perspective, she will not hesitate to throw the ring I gave her at you and threaten to break up with you...ive talked and argued with her for a year now, and she finally stopped doing it, but it doesnt mean she wont throw a fit at me occasionally even when i havent talked to her, just by calling her to see how shes doing-she will bash me.How we started off dating...to be honest it was really by luck that i met this lovely lady. She was dating a 30 year old when she was still 20 when i met her. she told me she was pretty much over him and soon after within another month-she broke off with him and went with me. Later on during the 8th month together, she finally somehow spilled it out that shes been having sex with the 30 year old behind my back and was planning to throw me away to go back to her old boyfriend, but somehow went to me instead...it still haunts me up to today even after i forgave her.the real question right now is, after a year and 8 months, we havent had sex in 5 months-when i talk about the spark we had when we first started off. she gets very mad and finds me annoying for bringing it up. Im a guy-and actually crying once in a while if my relationship reality comes into my mind.Im sorry, im ranting, but it really hurts right now while typing this..can someone guide me? What should i do? My last girlfriend before this one cheated on me three times and i knew the whole time..till she broke up with me shortly afterwards and i just gave up altogether..i really feel that this would be my last relationship that ill actually try for.Please im begging for help..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): Your girlfriend has no respect for you, that much is pretty clear. I'm sorry to be blunt but I agree with bradbrit in that aspect.
So now, you tell me... where is the love when respect is not even there? How do you love someone when you don't give a damn about that person's feelings in the first place?
You seem like a sweet, loyal and trustworthy guy. A rare find now a days. You girlfriend is lucky to have someone like you but obviously, she doesn't realize this. Frankly, I know many would agree with me when I say you deserve someone better. However, as you really love your girlfriend, only you can say how long you can put up with the way she's treating you.
My only hope is when that time does come, you would not have reached that point of giving up on love altogether because really, things have a way of working out themselves in the end.
Who knows? The great love you've prayed and waited for may be the one next in line. =)
A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (26 July 2007):
I applaud BadBrit for his excellent man-to-man advice.
As a woman, I would like to add that you seem like a very sensitive, sweet
young man, who would be faithful and true to the right girl.
In this day and age, you are a real find for some lucky girl!
This lady doesn't deserve you!
Buck up and don't let this be your last releationship. Reassess yourself,
your strengths and weaknesses and don't let her drag you through the dirt!!
...............................
A
male
reader, badbrit  +, writes (26 July 2007):
Dude, time to get rid. Hard to hear but true. You want this great romantic and deep love and want her to live to your ideals, not gonna happen, she isnt the one.
She cheated on and dumped the ex bf to get with you and that should have told you a lot of her character. Then, now with you, she sleeps with him, wants to go back with him and you put up with it.
Now she doesnt have sex with you and hasnt for five months. This girl has wronged you and does not seem overly fussed by how you feel and it is down to respect and power. She has power over you and that is shown by you putting up for this and still not wanting to dump her. She has no respect for you. She treats you terribly and you cry? Who would respect that?
She is beneath you and is going to repeat this cycle, let her do it to someone else.
I am sure you want me to tell you how to fix it, make her devoted to you, in love, respect you etc, Not gonna happen, except it and move on
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