A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm a 32 year old woman. i recently found myself attracted to my 19 year old stepson, and i am seriously trying to fight these feelings. i would never pursue him or make any moves, because i think it's wrong, and i love his dad too much, but i still can't help to find him attractive. he looks exactly like my husband (his dad) and i think these feelings came about because he recently came out and told me he loved me. i know he trusts me as a parental figure, and i'd never break that bond or trust, but how do i get these feelings out of my head? is it infatuation because he said "i love you"? i noticed sometimes, he'd flirt with me, and look at me inappropriately, but i never really did anything about it, or flirted back, because i thought it was wrong, and just shook it off. even now, thinking about it, i don't want anything sexually or anything, i just can't help to be attracted to him. is this unusual for a stepmom to be attracted to her stepson? i don't have any kids of my own, and my stepson is 19. thank you for any answers. His dad is in the military and has been gone for a year, and recently my stepson left for the military as well, and that's when he said he loved me. what's going on with me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): Thank you all for your kind and sensitive and respectful advice.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 July 2009):
 Just realize that you have a young handsome lovable step son and move on.
I think it's quite normal that a woman ( or man) can look at a person younger ( or older) then themselves and feel an attraction. He is after all not your biological son. He is however the son of the man you love, so in a way a younger version. That make sense?
I know it's hard when they are deployed, but it is never a good enough reason to not focus on your man.
I'm willing to bet that he loves the fact that you make his dad happy. Maybe he even has a little crush on you. After all his dad loves you so you HAVE to be a good woman :)
Set you limits. If you feel he is being inappropriate you talk to him.
Most of all though, let it go.
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A
male
reader, mister.m  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 Attraction isn't a choice. But its wise to forget about it. Begin a relationship with someone else so you'll be distracted.
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A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (8 July 2009):
First your husband is not going to be the only person that you're attracted to in the whole world. There are a lot of people out there and some of them are pretty nice to look at.So far you haven't done anything to show him that you think he's attractive so keep it that way. There are girls that I work with on a daily basis that I think are smoking hot, but I don't let it ruin my marriage. I don't worry about why I think they're so attractive that I'd like to get naked and nasty. I do the right thing because I love and respect my wife and I wouldn't want to put her through the pain of finding out that I've been getting some on the side.He's gone now and left for the military so hopefully that means that he won't be at your house any longer so I wouldn't worry about it. And hopefully when he told you that he loved you he was speaking about Mother to Son type of love.
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A
female
reader, possum  +, writes (8 July 2009):
Was it love as in the way a child loves his parent, or the way an adult loves another adult? It could be that he is mistaking the two, hence the flirting.He may well meet someone his own age and realise how inappropriate it is for the two of you.I am pleased to hear that he has gone into the military, as this will put distance between you. Is everything OK with your husband, why do you think you are feeling like this in regards to someone who is unattainable?
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