A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey im 16-17 im going out with a girl we havt done anythink yet but we said we would trouble is i find girls attractive and i dont with boys they turn me off but doing stuff with a girl freaks me out also we both say we ent gay but for me that is not true anythink if shes not gay why does she want me and because i think i am but i dunno thats why im posting this but i dont want to say i am just in case people find out or im actually not also i dont know if how she feels for me is real and im scared to say or do want to do stuff with me is she just saying this ir does she mean it is there any signs to notice if some1 is gay or if she likes me also as i have allways liked girls even when i was younger and not boys and still dont now but i find it weird with girls because in my head i find it wrong and not right and normal do you think im gay is there any Questions i can ask myself to find out ? i need help this is driving me crazy i feel so alone plz help message me if you want more information just say when you write to this Question and I'lll send you a message thanks xxxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Keria  +, writes (26 April 2007):
Don't worry about it. Sex is meant to be fun, so just have fun. If that means doing it with guys, then so be it. If it means doing it with girls, ok, and if it means doing it with both.. well that's great too. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, 'cause it don't matter.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007): i am in the exact same boat as you im 17 and not sure wot my sexuality is. i fantasize over women alot but am scared to tell any one i spoke to one of my gay mates the other day she told me to go to a bar with friends but i am too emaressed to go. all i can say is tell her how you feel and see how it goes from there. xxx
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise +, writes (25 April 2007):
 First off i want to let you know that there is nothing at all wrong with being gay, bi, or stright. A person's sexual orintation is completly normal and natural. It is just how we are born/made, and no matter what anyone else says, its not a sin, wrong, or unatural. if it was unnatural then noone would be like that, and it wouldnt be common in the rest of the animal world either. I can't tell you why people are like this (besides scientific facts), but i can tell you my personal theory, which is that its a type of natural way for the survival of the species by trying to limit reproduction (not that there's anything wrong with gay couples haveing children! they ussualy make very wonderful parents).
As to weither or not you are, it's hard to tell... only you can really know. Though its true that some people at your age have already figured out their orintation sexualy, for others it takes awhile longer. Its very common for females your age (and older!) to find the male anatomy disgusting, and the thought of doing things very unapealing ("but.. he pees out of that!"). Since you said you are attracted to females, and desire females sexualy, then i would say you probably are a lesbien. However, you could be bisexual, but if you have no desire to do sexual things with males, then theres certinitly no reason too!
as for your gf... it is very confuseing, and only you asking her these questions will you get the answers. She has probably not said she is gay for the same reasons you haven't yet... she's scared/nervouse, confused, or perhaps she is bisexual/pansexual. However, every relationship's main foundation should be trust, so sit down and have an honest heart to heart talk together (and not over the phone/computer!). Both of you are most likely insequre about this issue, so bringing it out in the open should make you both stronger as a couple. You both can then decide together if/when you should "come out" to your families, etc, or keep it a secret still. If she isn't really gay/bi then please brake up with her, though i know it will no doubt cause you much heartbreak. Its just better to not live a lie, and to carry things on untill it gets worse. You will meet other people and have more relationships, perhaps not all of them good, but i'm sure you will find your perfect somebody. However, i don't think she is stright, because it makes no sense for her to date you and eventualy want to be sexual with you if she were not gay/bi.
so sit down and have that talk with her! :0)
You are both younge and have many years ahead of you still.
best wishes!!!
hugs!
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