A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey im writing for me mum she is 50 somethink she has been married for 35yrs but is going threw a divorce its a really bad one because no one knows where my dad is and no one can get hold of him not even the solicitors and she has also found out stuff about him and that her whole life has been a lie her daughter which is me has took it bad, which got her mum down but this is not about me its about me mum just trying to give you information lol also we cant move because he wont sign over the house to me mum and all we wana do is move away also has an illness which can kill her and all this ent helping also weve had a car accident which was not our fault and there saying it is when our car wernt even moving which ent helping my mum feels like giving up and crys alot and has no1 2 talk 2 im scared all this is gunna kill her please help need more information just ask thanks xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007): This is a lot for anyone to cope with including you and I think you are a very mature person to realise how deeply your Mum has been affected by this and all the other issues that are going on.
You need to talk to her, tell her that you are there for her but she has to be pro-active and get some issues sorted out like the car thing etc. She needs to start keeping a diary of events because events, phone calls, dates can just fade into nothing. Talk to her about her finances, is she paying the bills? Tell her to go and see her doctor and go with her. Even an arm around her shoulder is sometimes enough. Leave the solicitors to do their thing with your Dad. Stay in your house and make it the best home you can. She must be absolutely devastated and so must you and this may hit you later on. At the moment you have the responsibility whether you want it or not. She can't make decisions at the moment. I am sure others won't agree with me, but you clearly know there is a problem and you want to help your Mum. You may loose time socially with your friends etc but if she is ill then you need to get social services involved and get some help. You absolutely cannot do this alone, if you are in school, your grades and relationships with your friends will suffer. I don't want you to resent her either in years to come that you gave up a lot of yourself for a bad situation at the time. Go tomorrow and seek help from Family Services or go and see your family GP and do not leave either of these places until you have an appointment or have something in your hand to show that something is going to happen. Talk to your Mum and tell her what you are doing and include her every step of the way. Also give her lots of support and tell her what she means to you.
A
female
reader, mcbirdie  +, writes (25 April 2007):
 This problem is too big for you to deal with on your own. I know that you want to support your mother because you love her, but the best thing to do is to talk to another relative or family friend and tell them how much your mother is struggling.
Of course tell your mother how much you love her and how you're pulling for her, but do not forget that you are going through the same divorce and the pressures of school and growing up are more than enough. Never be ashamed to find another adult and tell them that you think your mother needs more help than you can provide.
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A
female
reader, beautifulllove +, writes (25 April 2007):
 your mom is depressed and heart broken all i can say is let her talk and listen and tell her how proud of her you are and how much you love her and shes so beautiful no mater what and that he was lucky to have her all these years. just be close by your mom is going thru a hard time and heart break and doesnt know how to handle all the emotions that were put on her so just have faith and be there for her as you help your self over it and she should be fine in time but i got this saying it might be silly but helped me over heart break love cant cause you pain its all in your brain but any ways all the luck
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