A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I find it odd how the guy I like doesn't have that giddy kid feeling on me. I don't find that I can't stop smiling when I talk to him, I don't get that feeling in my stomach or any of that sort that you do when you like someone. I don't even find myself feeling something when I kiss him. I mean of course I like kissing him and being around him, he makes me laugh and we get along so well! But the thing is, I don't have THAT feeling. But I do know I like him and that's the problem. Because I can't understand why I don't have those feelings or reactions, do you think there's something wrong here? Because if we get into a relationship, i'm worried that this will effect it...
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female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 I have always found that "that" feeling comes and goes, and it doesn't mean a lot about the state of my relationship. Also, when you are really searching for it, it tends to elude you. I say be calm, enjoy your relationship, and give it some time.
On the other hand, if after some time you feel that something essential is missing from the relationship, then that is a different story. Then, you should try to understand your own feelings and why you have them. I hope it works out for you!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 You aren't in love you mean?
Not all relationships start off with the heart and the "in love" butterflies. Many relationships start off with friendship or the mind, that you know this man will be good for you. And not to worry. The "in love" feeling might never come, but that feeling is after all JUST CHEMICALS that tells your brain you should breed with him. And that feeling tends to calm down with time anyway. Instead, what will happen if he is a good guy and you are attracted to him, is you will develop a different form of attraction, a deeper care, and eventually love. The love feelings develop regardless of the infatuation period. Infatuation and love is, after all, not the same.
And who knows, you might even fall in love as well, plenty of couples who start off from the head and not heart do end up in love as well.
It's just a different course than what you have experienced so far, but it is not a bad thing. I think you should wait with taking the relationship serious though, until you know if you are developing romantic feelings for him or not. Until then carry on dating and getting to know each other and have fun. Don't throw away what could be the best thing in your life just because you aren't used to this different path.
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