A
female
age
30-35,
*rishara
writes:Hi im 20 this year and I started going to a new school at the start of this year. I have this group of friends but every time when we hang out together, I dont enjoy the company at all. I cant open up and I dont find the jokes or conversations even funny at all although I would just fake my laughters and add in a few words. I dont get this kind of problems when Im having fun in a club meeting new groups of people or when im outside in a different environment.But the people I met in school, I cant loosen up like how I did outside. I don't understand why! Please guide me! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, domains3  +, writes (7 May 2009):
Aside from the atmosphere being completely different, school versus a club atmosphere, what else is different? Are you drinking etc at the club that would help loosen you up versus a school environment of sobriety? Perhaps the people you have chosen to hang with at school are just not the right fit for you and it could be as simple as that. What brought you together with this school group of friends in the first place? Who do you hang out with when you go to the clubs? Perhaps they are just more ammenable to your personality, interests, intelligence, sense of humor, attractiveness and chemistry. Perhaps it is time to open yourself up to meeting more and different people at your school, never forgetting or dismissing your current friends but allow yourself to be open to meeting others. Clicks happens with friendship groups so easily and it precludes one to dismiss meeting others that arent in your group. If you are mature enough and strong enough to step outside your click, youll likely find that you can have a diversity of friends from different groups and begin to enjoy each group and individual for what they bring to the table. Any help?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): You don't say much about the situation, trishara. Is it a private school or a university, or college? I don't know what campus organisations are available to you or what your interests are. I would guess that you don't have a great deal in common with your circle of friends (aquaintances)right now. Look for organisations or activities at school where you might meet more interesting people, or at least those who share your interests and with whom you have more in common. Best wishes. Tom
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): Perhaps you just don't "click" with this particular group of friends. It sounds like you feel quite uncomfortable around them. I think that we all know people where we can hang out and chat, but we don't really have any connection. I suppose they may be company for you though, so you have some people to talk to while you are there.If this is really uncomfortable though, then maybe you could try and make your contact with them less. Are there any other people you could get to know, people you have more in common with?I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all, I just think that sometimes, some groups of people don't get very close. x
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