A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was brought to the States by my parents when I just turned 18. I have been living in the States for almost 5 years since then.I went to a local high school for one year and now I am almost graduating from a prestigious college. Through out the past 5 years, my English has improved a lot. You can still tell my accent but I can clearly express whatever I want to say and I don't have any trouble understanding conversation.Most people like me because they think I have a good sense of humor and people laugh at my jokes.However, I've been working at a student leadership position for a year. My peers are supposed to be the most inclusive and friendly and outgoing people but I am frustrated with them.I feel I've been left out.(I am the only immigrant member in that group I am not sure if that's the reason) Like, they will invite me to a tour group to get a group of 4 discount. I don't feel like going but I wanted to fit in so I said yes. They cheered and acted happy and stuff. A couple days later they asked me to buy my individual ticket online because they found a 4th person.I didn't end up going. I didn't feel like it anyways.Same thing happens. When there is a one on one situation I normally have good conversation with people but once I am in a group, I just don't shine. I feel I always have to follow other people otherwise I end up walking by myself. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Colormevibrant +, writes (8 May 2009):
First, your "peers" certainly don't sound very inclusive or friendly. At minimum, they seem extremely insensitive. Did they ask you to get an additional ticket online because you have an extremely fortunate financial comfort level that everyone's familiar with, but most of them don't share? If that's not the reason - shame on them!Walking alone can feel like agony at first. One feels so very, very, VISIBLE. But only when you quit being afraid of carving your own path, will you find that others begin to see you for who you truly are. Soon some will start to walk YOUR path with you -- and you won't be quite so alone any longer. Best of luck to you -- "Fitting in" can be tough in any group. Don't limit yourself to the groupies in one student leadership group. Branch out!
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