A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing a married man. I know it is wrong. But, can't stay away. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): How do you and your husband get along, do you share fantasies, if you don't do something it will end your marriage. If you have a strong marriage and are open to things what about including your husband? If he is interested but doesn't want to be included, video tape you and lover for him. You might just have the most intense sex of your married life after.
But defiantly you need to talk to your husband before it is too late. Sorry I'm a male reader!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): I've been there too, I know what you mean.
Find a new guy - a single available one. That will take your mind off your married guy.
Then think about all his bad qualities, turn your heart against him. Tell yourself he's a asshole. Think of all the reasons he's an asshole. No, he's not putting his family first. If he were, he would have ended things with you. He's being a poor excuse for a family man. Pity his kids, and pity his wife who has no clue what he's doing behind her back. Imagine you and his wife have traded places, that you're the one married to him and he's cheating on you with her. He doesn't seem so "good" anymore, does he?
Don't be sympathetic to him, don't think that he's 'trapped' in his marriage but really loves you. It may be fully true that he feels love for you and that he feels trapped, but this is a free country and the 21st century, no one is forced to stay married to anyone. He is simply TOO WEAK to leave his marriage if he truly really loved you over his wife. He's not a man. He's a coward. whether or not he "loves" his wife, the fact that he's married means he has to sneak around and keep your relationship a secret. This is disrespectful to you if he truly loved you. Remind yourself this. He knows the pain he's causing you yet he doesn't get a divorce to be with you, nor does he break up with you to "free" you out of respect for you. He's selfish. Remind yourself of this.
He should not have led you on, he should not have gotten involved with you. As the married person (assuming you are single), it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY to not start an affair. It is not your responsibility - or that of any other infinite number of outsiders - to protect his marriage, it is his and his entirely. He failed. He dragged you into this mess and strung you along. And once in the mess he didn't resolve it, he has been prolonging it. He's a coward. Remind yourself this, over and over again. Turn your heart against him.
Stop thinking of him as a 'good guy', start to see him as a pathetic coward. See him as your ex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Stay away my dear... he isn't leaving his wife....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): It's hard but just end all contact. I've been there and believe me, there are over a million excuses that can keep you with him, like we love each other, he's getting a divorce, he cares about his children and he can't leave his wife, bla bla bla.
Sooner or later, you WILL get fed up that he doesn't give you enough attention or time, and that he is always putting his family first. You will slowly start to resent him.
You have the power to stop this, you have to get the old out, to get the new in. To get over a guy, you have to get under another, trust me, when you have a new guy, and you feel in seventh heaven high, you will tell your married guy with a smile, that you don't want him anymore.
If you are also married, then sooner or later one of you will develop feelings, which will lead to stress and frustration. So, get counseling to improve your married life. If it cannot be improved, get a divorce and start to mingle
Good luck, put on your big girl panties and deal with it. You deserve better !
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