A
female
age
36-40,
*llieC.88
writes:I have been seeing a guy for a while now, and i love him. He will have a baby in less then a month with a women that i know he does not want to be with. He has been staying over at her place for around 3 weeks, and i never get any calls from him or he never calls me back when i called him. I felt very neglected and felt like he didnt care about me as much as he said he did. I met a guy at my job and we had sex once when my boyfriend was away. I told my boyfriend i met a guy that was all.two days ago i met my boyfriend and told him what happened. It tore him apart because it took him the time when he was away to realize how much i loved and cared for him that he wanted to return that back to me. I want to try my hardest to fix what i did wrong and try to mend things back to how it was before even if it takes months. He says he still loves me and he wants to try to fix things, but he also said he doesnt know if we can get things back to the way they were. Do you think if any chance of us fixing the relationship or should i just let this go? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, called Steve  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 Although things are difficult when one partner cheats in a relationship, its not insurmountable. The "Anon" poster who states:
"Once you cheat you can NEVER go back to what you had. Let the poor guy find a decent, loyal girl."
is probably a terminal negative case and HE can never move on... however, if you're repentant and genuine, it can be better given time - you can't rush things!
It will not be an overnight thing - it can take years, but don't put a thing out of place and you should get there - of course it may be that you're just not destined to be together, you have that fact to contend with!
Good luck if that's what you desire...
Steve
A
female
reader, AllieC.88 +, writes (5 October 2009):
AllieC.88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your replies. So far things are going okay. I stopped speaking to the new guy to try and fix things with the old guy.
So we are trying to fix things, do u have any suggestions on how i can gain his trust back?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 October 2009):
oh dear. You won't ever get back what you had, because he'll always remember that moment. However, he's said he'd like to try and fix it, which is a positive step. Try fixing it and see what happens.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009): Once you cheat you can NEVER go back to what you had. Let the poor guy find a decent, loyal girl.
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A
male
reader, called Steve +, writes (2 October 2009):
One phrase springs to mind:"You dont realise what you have until it's gone"So - dont you go feeling bad about having a knee trembler one night, he got what was coming eventually and that something is pretty much nothing.You ought to move on to protect yourself from getting hurt in the future by this guy.Good luck!Steve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009): why would you want to? This so called boy friend moves in with his pregnant gf. He doesnt call you, text you, and in general appears to be avoiding you, who he loves, but is continuing to live with her, who he doesnt want to be with. So you get laid by some guy at work, and then make sure to tell bf who...does any of this make a lick of sense? The bottom line... is there a chance that we can have a relationship or should i let go? let go,let go, let go, let go...he has a pg gf who he is living with. Hes trying to be there for her who he knocked up and his child. Let go, let go, let go! and would someone please send the people in white gowns to take me away. To my padded cell...where i can bang my head on the wall and claim to be eleanor roosevelt....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009): Sorry but let this go. If the guy is having a babay with another woman then leave him to it.
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