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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a teen and I've been dating this great guy for a few months. We are so right for each other and I thought we were on the same page but I was at his place watching a movie like I have many times before and he caught me off guard with something. We joke a lot about doing stuff... You know, just flirting, but this time he started kissing me which I was fine with. We've made out before and had some really deep sex convos about how we're not into that stuff. This time he tried to go down my pants though, and I wasn't into it cause I think it's kinda gross and I've never done that before. I said no and he stopped right away and acted fine but I still feel like an idiot and want to say something to him so what should I do? What's right?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2005):
Um, maybe have another really deep convo?
Seriously, if the guy always waited for written, countersigned deployment orders then nothing would get done.
Just talk to him and tell him what you were feeling about not being ready; not that you pushed him away because he was a really gross perv who made your skin crawl at his touch. Which is usually what guys think.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2005): you shouldn't feel like an idiot. he is probably more embarassed than you are anyhow.
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (27 December 2005):
 Angel,
There is nothing wrong with saying no if you not ready.
And the fact that he stopped with no hassles shows he has a lot of respect for you and to find that in a man isn't very easy to come by now a days.
But then again there is nothing wrong with exploring new grounds. You may say it sounds gross, but if you take it slowly it's quiet pleasureable.
Be proud of who you are and what you believe in, but don't be afraid to explore new grounds, who knows you may just enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, Virginiaac +, writes (24 December 2005):
Whatever you feel is right, is right for you. You have no need to say anything. Your boyfriend appears to have accepted your decision - just don't be too hard on him if he tries again.
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A
reader, Cutie_pie1990 +, writes (24 December 2005):
Don't worry about it, your boyfriend has to understand that you might not be ready even if he is.
You said you've already had a chat about sex, so your obviously close enough to talk about this
just tell him how you feel and that your not ready to do that kind of thing yet.
Have a great Christmas
goodluck!
Robyn
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A
male
reader, ambiguous +, writes (24 December 2005):
Hello, if he has the capacity to carry on a logical discussion about the boundaries of sex, but is unable to control himself physically, this only means he is immature in the sense of physical control. He speaks with wisdom about things he has not experienced, I would remind him that he is wise in things he says, and tell him how you value that, perhaps even tell him straight out that he needs to slow down a little.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2005): It is definately not right if your boyfriend will not respect your boundaries. However, my guys will try and see how far they can get before you say no. Some girls play games with that kind of thing. Why do you feel like an idiot? You stood up for yourself and made you limits clear! I think its awesome. When you are ready to go farther and experiment, that is the time for that sort of thing and not before
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