A
male
age
36-40,
*lbambino
writes:i met a girl about 2 1/2 weeks ago, we got to hang out a couple of times and i even went to her house once. She seemed to like me since she was always constantly calling me to do things together from going to the movies to going to parties and eating out for lunch or breakfast. But when i went to her house we kissed for the first time and she seemed fine with it, and at the end of the night she gave me a kiss and i left. then the next day we spoke and she said she felt disrespected because i tried to kiss her neck so fast and it seemed like i wanted to have a one nightstand. i was a bit stubborn and maintained that it was not disrespectful at all, then we hung up and i waited and contacted her two days later but she wouldnt answer texts or the phone... i started to feel at fault for turning her down so much and for going so quick and not accepting her point and apologizing, so i started calling her A LOT probably twice a day for about 3 days straight which was wrong but i just felt really bad about the way i handled her since she is a really a good girl, the type i have been looking for. At the same time i was scared to loose her due to my own fault since that never has happened to me before because i usually dont get so attached. my sis tried to help the situation and tell her friend to talk to her but she got mad and told me that she didnt want to talk to me and that i was disrespectful and didnt know how to treat a lady.My question is, is there a way that i can talk to her? what is your advice? do you think i would be able to turn it around and prove her that i am a gentleman and know how to treat her? and if so how long should i wait to talk to her again? i dont want to call now because i dont want to be execessive even though i was at first because of the guilt i felt towards what happened. And what should i say?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): Girls will give a lot more second chances to a guy who was too pushy than they will give to a guy who was not pushy enough.
Stop worrying so much. If she knows you're trying to apologize then let things work their course.
A
male
reader, mnman3487 +, writes (4 December 2009):
 The cruel reality is, you may be able to do nothing at all to "fix" it. One thing you should not do is invade her personal space. Were I you, I would leave a voicemail or perhaps a text message explaining that it wasn't your intention to come on too strong, that in your experience it hadn't been perceived as disrespectful. Tell her that you didn't understand what your boundaries were and now that you know you'd never violate them again, if only she'd give you another chance. Say something to that effect, and if she still doesn't want to talk to you don't persist. She deserves her space and if she feels you're invading that space I'm afraid contact will work against and not for you. If all else fails, just give her some time.
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A
female
reader, Laineagard +, writes (4 December 2009):
Hmmm... Stubborn girls can be a big problem. I know, because I can be one of the most stubborn. But I also have a soft spot for apologies. Maybe she doesn't have that characteristic? If I had this happen to me, I would love it if the guy sent me a letter in the mail. Just a plain letter, that simply stated the TRUTH about how you feel and maybe ask if you can "start over" with it all. Don't be too gushy about it and go on about how great she is, just make it short and to the point. Don't get your hopes up too high though, because if this girl isn't like me, she may just throw it away and expect you to respect staying away from her. Which would stink, but there are other "good girls" out there, too. You sound like a nice guy, so hopefully this works out for you! :)
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