A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay I just graduated from a medical school. So I should feel blessed as being able to become a doctor after 5 years of hardships. But it do not turn that way, as I could not forget one of my professor at all. Well he is too old, now he is 70+ . and I'm just 25. He's married with children. I think I had fall in love with him, and I know nothing can be done. I'm sick of this. The more I wanna forget him, the more I'm thinking of him. I just wanna talk to him and have a nice goodbye, but on my day of graduation he left too early.. I still remember the last 3 classes with him, he purposely ignore me. Normally he will ask me questions. But on the remaining class, he skips me. And on the last class, he avoid eye contact with me completely. I feel so sad, so I just looked down at my paper. By the time I looked again at him, he was actually looking at me. On the day of examination, he became nice to me. But someday on the road, he ignore me. He treats other student well but not me. When I said good morning to him, he just ignore me but if other student greet him, he is nice to them. Well, he might notice that I like him, but the treats me make me feel sad. And now I'm not be able to talk to him for the last day. Surely I will remember him forever, but this feeling is killing me softly. I know I will forget him someday, but for this mean time, it is hard to let him go from my thought. I cried and talking to myself. I am depressed.. Help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys, thanks for the advice. I feel relieved a lot. You guys are amazing! T_T
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2016): I'm sorry for your sadness. It eases with time and activity.
You don't have much to do just after graduation; but once you start your internship, you'll have little time for thought about anything but your patients. Your feelings are not really love, but sentimentality; because of the venerable impression he made on you. It's like saying goodbye to your father and mentor before talking a very long trip. Your endearment for him is reminding you of a loss somewhere in your past, and those feelings are resurfacing. Like something was unfinished.
My dear, you'll be fine. There is always that overwhelming feeling of sorrow of sadness just after graduation. You've closed yet another chapter in your life, and you're moving on. You feel sad because you're leaving him behind. He became a familiar habit seeing him from day to day.
He made the most positive impression on you, and you have become quite attached. It lightens as the days past.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Being infatuated with someone is more intense than some people like to think! But my dear, you are 25 and he is 70+. Right now, he may seem SO interesting in comparison to the men in your age group and that's okay. Age aside, chalk it up to you simply liking men of high intelligence and good spirit. Now, I am about to share a secret with you I learned from one of my favorite authors. Instead of seeing him as he is, intelligent and witty in class and nicely dressed-picture in the worst light you can. I mean, imagine him on a couch, barefeet dirty and stinking up the room. Imagine him walking around in an old bathrobe picking at a wedgie caused by tighty-whitey underwear as he farts very, very loudly. Believe it or not, this trick kind of worked for me getting over my crush. I painted a scenario of him clipping his toenails at the kitchen table (something I absolutely hate) and after being disgusted, I started giggling and pretty soon, I couldn't take him or my crush as seriously. Also, distract yourself! Do the things you love or try a new hobby. Being busy helps you keep your mind off things and who knows? By doing you could find an interesting man of your own!
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female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 No, youre not in love with him. Glances dont equate to true love. Look you might think you have feelings but when you do get a BF that youre in love with, this minor part of your life will seem comical to you. YOull even laugh and tell your future boyfriends.Look, I use to have crushes on professor. Its easier to think they feel same way but they have hundreds to thousands of students who pass thru their classes yearly so who are you say the glances mean more than just annoyances/professor-student glowering...hes also 70. You have nothing in common with him. Relax. Chill out. I have a few professor stories as well and back then it felt intense and unique-one of a kind but looking back I was so young! SO naive ! And I laugh about it to this day. What a funny part of life it was and how funny was I to even entertain those ideas back then. Our young selves, right?IN coming years things will make sense, just enjoy the ride, focus on school and hey, Good luck on becoming a doctor =)
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reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 I understand that you're hurt and confused, OP; I'm sorry you didn't get a nice goodbye. However, you need to be realistic about this and remind yourself that it's not killing you at all (I know that's just a phrase) and you were infatuated with admiration for him, not in love. At this much of an age gap, it was more likely a mentor feeling, "idol" almost, rather than a crush of any kind - it's normal, but you need to nip it in the bud to stop it interfering with your progress.
Go out with friends, celebrate graduating, start applying for jobs, get a new hobby - actively take your mind off it by *doing* things; the more you *tell* yourself to forget about him, the more you're reminding yourself of him.
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