A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I've always had a thing for this friend of mine but we both didn't act upon it. A couple of years later we got back in touch and decided we will go on a date whenever we are in the same city. It was supposed to be 'casual' because he isn't looking for a relationship but I caught feelings. It isn't a fwb situation either. We haven't slept together and we aren't seeing other people as well. Even if it is just infatuation, it has lasted for more than 1 year and I still think about him a lot. Earlier I thought he likes me back when he said things like 'I feel a lot, I just don't say it', 'I liked the time we were just cuddling and talking' but lately he started making it very clear that relationship is not his priority at present and all this is just for fun. I never got the same amount of attention that I gave him any way.I always knew it won't go anywhere but I caught feelings for someone after so long and it isn't easy to give up. Sometimes I end up making a fool of myself when I don't get replies from him and when I'm the one texting first most of the time. I've acted silly so many times out of feelings but his lack of response makes me feel like I'm coming off as annoying and clingy maybe. Last night I ended up tagging him in a post and writing a comment , which he ignored obviously. All this makes me feel like a loser, an annoying person.Sometimes he texts and talks with interest but I don't like the way I feel because of this. I'm wasting a lot of time, thoughts , emotions over nothing and end up feeling like a fool. I tried backing off but seems like I'm stuck in this patternWhat should I do ?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 March 2016):
 It is very easy to catch feelings for someone, especially if you have been seeing them for over a year. Even though he said he did not want a relationship, it doesn't mean that it will stop you from developing feelings, therefore don't beat yourself up about it. You said you never get the same attention returned, therefore I think you know what the answer is. It seems he is being straight with you now and making it clear that he doesn't want a relationship because he has picked up that you have feelings for him.
No it is not easy to make these feelings go away. But you need to try and be strong. Try and get him out of your system, because at the moment this is not healthy for you, it is potentially ruining your chance off meeting someone who wants to be with you. Don't feel like a fool, everybody acts silly when they have feelings for someone and they want them to be noticed. You wanted to show him you where thinking of him, he tagged him in things on social media to see if he would respond, but sadly he didn't. No need to blame yourself. Just put it down to an experience and move forward.
Okay so first I think you need to admit to him you have feelings for him, very strong ones. Give him a chance to tell you it won't happen, then ask him to give you some distance so you can get over him. Tell him you need to remove him from your life in order to heal. If he is a true friend he will not make this difficult for you. Then you need to be strong and you need to block all contact. Yes it will be difficult, so difficult but this is what you need to do to help yourself. Once that is done. Go out with friends, enjoy your life to the full. Try distract yourself when you find your mind wandering to him. Eventually this will get easier. You could also meet new people, go on dates. Good Luck Sweetie.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 March 2016):
 Look at it like it's a crush, nothing more.
You know HE isn't interested in you that way, so it's time to let go of the infatuation/crush because it is holding you back.
Obviously there are thing about him you like, so don't think of it as wasted time. And you have found there are things you don't like.
I think he has pulled back a lot because he KNOWS you have been crushing on him and HE doesn't feel the same. IT happens. There is nothing to feel foolish about or ashamed of.
YOU liked him, he didn't like you back at the same level.
If being in contact makes you feel bad or make you feel like you "can't help" being clingy and needy, then maybe.. either block him for a while or just don't text him a bit.
It SUCKS when someone you have a crush on doesn't like you back, but it happens. Who knows there might be a guy who really likes/liked you and you didn't feel the same.
Go out with friends (obviously not him) have fun, keep busy, meet new people and let him slide into the background.
The thing with a crush on a friend? It makes a TRUE friendship hard. Because romantic feelings doesn't really belong (in a sense) in a friendship. Kind of like being friends with an ex rarely is a great idea either.
Wish him well and decide that YOU want MORE for yourself.
He isn't IT for you. Move on.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (23 March 2016):
 Stop before you cross the line of no return. From what you write you are getting pretty close to it. I think it would be far worse if your friend felt obligated to 'tolerate' you out of friendship than to just accept that it is what it is...friendship
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