A
female
age
26-29,
*ototo
writes:my boyfriend and me are in a relation since last three years. he says he wants sex but i am not ready. he got angry when i said so. I really love him and i dont want to lose him. but i am really not ready for sex. he is really angry with me when i said i am not ready. what should i do?? please help
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 March 2016):
What are you afraid to lose? A guy who loves you so much that he will wait for you forever, until death do you part...or....A angry guy who wants you to forget yourself, your values, and give up what is the most the precious thing to a woman for....his selfish needs?
So what do you really love or or want to hold to so badly??
Don't you see this as a warning?? If he is this mad because you don't want to throw away your self-esteem for a 5 minute sex romp, what is he going to be like if you got pregnant and wants you to have an abortion???
In other words...If he cannot handle this small issue, how is he going to handle more important matters later on in life???
Think real hard.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2016): Its understandable if he feels disappointed.
But he should not be getting angry at you. What a jerk.
If you don't feel ready, then DON'T DO IT.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 March 2016):
 What is it about sex that you are not ready for? Are you waiting for marriage? If so then you need to tell your boyfriend. You have been together three years so am pretty sure he is not just looking for sex. But I wonder what it is that makes you not want to move the relationship to this level? What is holding you back?
If he gets angry then maybe you both are just not suited for each other. Maybe you both want different things.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 March 2016):
 for me the answer will matter if you are 18 or closer to 21...
if at 21 in a 3 year relationship and you are not ready for sex perhaps you and your boyfriend need to part ways as he wants one thing and you want another.
IF you are 18 and have been together since you were 15, and you are not ready, have you got a time frame for him as to when you might be or is this a "i want to wait till I am married" issue in which case you may have to end the relationship if he does not wish to wait that long.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (23 March 2016):
 if he loves you he will try to understand , value and respect your wishes. he needs to look at you with love, not self centered wants. you need to tell him that he is the one in your life and not anyone else. that you love him, and do not want to be pressured into sex. love is giving not taking. love is caring not self centered. he needs to think of your needs and wishes not just his wants. you need to tell him he is the one ,but not now. when you both are ready. love will wait , self centered demands now. he will act mad, maybe even be mad.he will get over it and see that things that are important to you and valued are worth the wait if he really and truly loves you for who you are. those things should be valued by both of you. i hope this helps and gives him some insight to how you feel.
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