A
female
age
30-35,
*e'
writes:This started a week back. I had asked a guy who worked at my school if her drop me off at my bf house because i wanted to see him. When i was aking my bf how do i get to where he live, he asked me who was bringing me and i said a friend. He then asked me if it was a boy, or girl. I told him a man. He then started tripping asking me if i swear i was in school.I told him yes i was. I tried to give the phone to the man to explain nothing is going on but my bf hung up on him. Still after that, we still try to go out our way to find out where he stays, because i still wanted to see him. We tried and tried to call and text him and i even left voice messages but still no reply.I was really down and out that day, because it hurted me that he didn't appreciate me doing all i can to go see him. Later on that night, i had called him and his cousin picked up. His cousin gave the phone to him, and i asked him what was wrong with hin. He thought i was asking if he was feeling down.He told me he was fine. He actually did sound fine and i thought what happened that day didn't bother him.i told him we need to talk, and he agreed but he said he had his cousin with him, but he don't wanna come over and leave his cousin lonely, so if i can get one of my girl friends to come over he'll come over.I told him no i didn't know his cousin.His cousin got on the phone acting silly asking me the same thing.I didn't wanna hear all that, so i told him he got the wrong girl to do all that from him and that i would like to speak to my bf not him.But he kept going on saying he got the phone now.But i hung up getting fed up.The next day, i called my bf at school to come pick me up.I told him,"come pick me up from school," but he hung up. I haven't had my phone in a while because my dad had it and he knows it so i had to borrow ppl phone. I tried calling him back many times,from another phone but he didn't answer. He did pick up angry and ask who it was. I told him it was me but he hung up again! i called back again and again and finally he answered and yelled "man, stop calling me for real!" I felt bad all day, and i cried.I keep questioning myself what did i do wrong?why is he treating me like this? the next morning i called him from my house number. He answered and i replied hey. He HUNG UP! i walked to school that day trying to hold it in nearly about to faint. When i got to the bus station i just bursted out in tears.My heart was breaking and i couldn't swallow.I felt so bad.Friday i had my phone back, and i tried to think positive that all will be fine.But i couldn't stop thinking about him and was hurt.That whole week he had been hanging up on me.But that day friday, i called him after school when i was just riding on the train and left a message expressing how he is hurting me and to let me know if i done anything wrong.Twenty minutes later, he called me.I was surprised.He seemed fine and talked as if nothing has happened. He asked me how i was doing and where i was.He told me he was on his way to his cousin place. We were losing connection so i told him i will call him back, he was about to even suggest the same thing.I tried to call him later but i didn't get him and when i tried again, and i thought someone picked up and hung up.I was feeling better that day anyways because i was happy to hear from him.I didn't call him saturday or sunday because i just wanted to give him some space. Today monday, i called but i d din't get him;and when i called from my house number he answered.H e asked who it was and i said it was me, he said wassup and i was like hey. I'm not sure whether he told me to hold on but it was quiet and then the line was cut off.I got real depressed becausei didn't know what to think. I had one of my friends text him as if i was the one texting him.He replied to it asking who it was. When he was texted back that it was me, he didn't reply. I began crying feeling that i did something wrong to make him not wanna talk to me. My friend treid to calm me down.I texted back expressing all my feelings to him,telling him everything.How i feel, and i love him very much.I also explained that i couldnt hold it in any more and i want to stop crying over him.I am sure he got the text but he didn't reply back yet.I can't eat right, sleep right and i miss him so much i don't know why he will treat me this way.He told me he will never hurt me and that he will take care of me, i gave him my heart which i didn't want to at first because, of how many times i had my heart broken. But i gave HIM a chance. I feel used and abused emotionally. He was the one that told me he was in love with me, and he couldn't be just friends with me when i didn't wanna give him a chance. I am trying to keep hope that he will call, i even started meditating.If he believed that i had cheated on him witht that guy why wouldi call him then and say that a guy is bringing me there.That will give it all away, but i have nothing to hide from him, i am honest with him, i trust him, why can;t he trust me. i am really confused as to why he is being this way.I know it has nothing to do with the problems he is going through. Someone please help me, i don't know what to do or think, should i call him again?! will he ever call me, help me please!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): So...do you actually ever even see this boyfriend? Doesn't really appear like he's your boyfriend. Looks more like some guy you keep calling that either hangs up on you or avoids you all together. Maybe he has a girlfriend and that's why he's so evasive. He won't tell you where he is, won't return calls, disappears, etc...
He may have told you what you wanted to hear, the "I love you" thing to get what he wanted and then moved on.
Or he was cheating on his girlfriend and now you calling is inconvenient when he's with her.
A
female
reader, squishysammiie  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 first off, if you tried all you can do, dont call him anymore i know that sounds harsh but its not in abad way, usually if a guy is doing that to you it means that he doesnt want to be with you anymore, and there is no point in trying with your all to get him to be with you becuz if he wanted to be with you then he would be with you, if this guy truly loved you he would not being doing what he's doing, i know its hard when you love someone to just let it be but if thats the way he wants it then so be it, dont put your self through all this hurt and bringing yourself down over him, if hes not going to take the time to talk to you or to be with you, then why take the time to bothering getting ahold of him or trying to make your way over there, expecially if he put his cuzin on the phone and lets him talk to you the way he did, why waste your time over someone who is going to make you feel down or like you did something wrong because the fact of the matter is you did nothing wrong what so ever he seems to be insecure and being with someone who is insecure is hard because it causes alot of problems. you went out of your way to get rides to his house and he didnt seem to appreciate it, so dont feel so down because you did everything right and nothing wrong, be with someone who knows what they have when they have you, not someone who is going to treat you with disrespect and make you feel awful. trust me girl im pretty sure you can do way better then this type of guy and u desrve so much better so i hope this helped you in some way ttyl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): Sorry to burst your bubble, but your supposed boyfriend sounds like he has someone else. Cousin's house? Yeah, right! He's accusing you of cheating because that's what he's doing. I think you need to wake up and see what's really going on here. You are being lied to.
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