A
female
age
30-35,
*mjo
writes:My head is a total mess and I really don't know what to do any more.My ex and I broke up about two months ago (we were together eighteen months) and I'm now in a relationship with another guy, which is what I guess most people would call a rebound. Uh oh. but im not so sure. Anyway I recently went to visit my ex as we decided to remain friends and now my head is all in confusion.Whilst at his all I wanted to do was come back home and see my current boyfriend but now I'm home I just want to go back to his...what the hell?Me and my ex spoke briefly about getting back together in that he said things like "But you wouldn't want me back now would you?" and the like. Also I haven't told my ex about the new fella, I fobbed this off at first but now I think there's definitely some subconscious thing at work here.I feel trapped in this relationship but unsure if I want the other one back...I think maybe I need time alone? Opinions? and please try not to be horrible, I realise I've gotten myself into somewhat of a mess but I'm in pieces and dont know what to do...
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male
reader, Love-Wisely  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 I feel for you. I use to rebound as a method of "helping me" get over ex's. I stopped doing it. Not because of how goodly or strong willed I am - because I realized like you that it was terribly screwing with my emotional well being - sooner or later.
Give yourself time to carefully think about your next move. Don't make any final decisions until one week after your period. For now, analyze all the reasons you broke up in as much detail as possible. Then, analyze all the reasons you picked the current BF.
In the future if you need to rebound after a long term relationship, try keeping it to no-sex dating for at least 3-months.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (3 December 2010):
 I think you answered your own question... I think maybe you need time alone.
It sounds like you are pretty confused about your feelings right now. You are caught between two relationships, a recently passed one that isn't quite finalised yet and an fresh brand new one. No wonder you are confused!
It isn't totally over emotionally with your ex, so you can't put your all into this new relationship to really give it the chance it needs.
So probably the best solution is to spend some time alone to really figure out where your head is at and where your heart lies. It might not be with either of these guys. You broke up with your ex for a reason and you may have rushed into this new one for fear of being alone. In which case you'd be better off on your own.
But if one of these guys is right for you, you will know once you have had some time to reflect on things and if they are the right guy, they will be happy to wait for you to have some time out either way.
Good luck.
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