A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am 35 yrs old with 2 children, my daughter is 14, my son is only a toddler. unfortunately i was a single mom with my daughter and am now a single mom again with my son. my daughters father is now greatly involved in her life. my problem is that i don't know if i can do this again. i never expected it and although i love my little boy, i feel he will be better with someone else. his father has completely turned his back on him and i don't want him to grow up and feel no one loved him. BUT i am so anxious. i live with my parents, my mom doesn't stop reminding me that this is her house and throws it in my face every chance she has. my daughter is at a rough age, my son is very difficult, i feel trapped and i don't know what to do.. i love them but i just want to be alone, and start my life over, if that's even possible. i just want to go away and leave it all behind. i've considered giving my brother custody of my son and letting my daughter go live with her father and her stepmother and just disappearing and not knowing anything anymore... am i a horrible person... sometimes i feel i can't even breathe.... this is all so new to me, i had a perfect life with just my daughter but everything has changed. but i feel so bad, my son didn't ask for any of this....
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female
reader, Slo619 +, writes (19 January 2009):
Although I do not know what it is like to try to not annoy others I do know what it is like not to have 5 minutes to self. I work 14 hour days and then have daughter no help financially or emotionally from anyone. I sleep 4 hours a day and my patience runs thin many days. I stay up sometimes when she sleeps and give myself a facial or do what I want. It makes Me feel better. May not work for you but worth a try. Have you thought of asking your mother to help out for a couple of hours every once in a while so you can have a break? She should understand what it is likes. Tell her how you are feeling. You have people who obviously care about you enough to allow you to live with them. They may support you more than you think, but you need to talk to them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, but treating myself is not the issue.. i don't have 5 minutes to myself.. that is what i wish i cold treat myself too..SOME ME TIME...when i'm not @ work, i'm stuck here...you know what it is to come home from work to have to lock yourself in a room from 6pm on because you're afraid your child will cry or get on someones nerves. i have to take my son everywhere, even to the bathroom sometimes because i don't have a helping hand or someone who will say, "hey you know what take a break, go ahead i'll watch him." i feel like i'm in prison.
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A
female
reader, Slo619 +, writes (19 January 2009):
Hey get your chin up for them! I know its hard I deal with it faults. Except my family is two states away and I have to deal with it all on my own. My child's dad is 4 states away. Anyway what helps Me is talking to friends on here whatever it takes. There are good days and bad but remember no one can replace a mother. Don't beat yourself up either eventually the children will see the big picture and see what you did was your best. Try to treat yourself a bit. I have found that if I look good, I feel good and the kids have a better day. Does not have to cost much 1 store makeup new clothes on clearance or 10 haircut. Try it. It is not selfish for you to feel confident and that will reflect onto the kids and your down feelings
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