A
female
age
41-50,
*wtbgirl
writes:I recently met a man and it felt like love at first sight. We are falling fast. Soon after we met I found out he is engaged and miserable. He is breaking it off with her after 2 1/2 years. Everything is happening so fast. He is telling me he loves me and I feel the same way but haven't came out and said it. He is not what I call the cheating type. It was timing between us. Is it possible this could work? I do not have those feelings like, once a cheat always a cheat. I feel this is so real! Has anyone else ever experienced something so powerful? What are the chances of this working?
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female
reader, swtbgirl +, writes (19 September 2009):
swtbgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh boy, I need to take a few deep breaths. rhythmandblues2 now that you say it, I guess I am a crutch. My head is spinning! He says to me what if he breaks it off with her then I'm not there for him. I have said to him time and time again that his decision has nothing to do with me. I really want him to be happy and loved. If I never had any contact with him but knew he had those things I would be fine. I didn't mean for this to happen but it has and like all things in life I will grow from it...whatever that means.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): I have my reservations. Obviously this guy is hurting, his 2 1/2 year relationship is going south and it was serious enough and he was in love to the point of getting engaged.
People who are on the rebound are emotionally needy, they appear open and intensely emotional so that when you meet them you think wow, I have never gotten this close to someone, it really seems so real. What you don't realize is this rebounding person is using you to avoid dealing with their own issues and feelings of loss about their recent break up or dying relationship. This is not fair to you. This rebounder would be best to spend time on their own facing their fears and feelings and leaving you out of it as their emotional and sexual crutch.
I am not saying that rebound relationships do not last, but most don't. The person is picking you for all the wrong reasons and when they get to the point where they feel emotionally healed they are ready to move on and you get dumped.
If you really like this gentleman, I would not get too inovlved with him and stay out of a romance, especially a physical affair. If you feel their are strong feelings on his part, then they will be there a few months down the road, if not then they won't. It can take up to a year though for some people to heal after a break up.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (19 September 2009):
 Yes. Its possible, but I think you do have some reservations.
You say its timing that got him to you, but my real question is why did he get engaged in the first place if he was miserable.
I only say this because I would hate to think that you're competing with his soon ex-fiance' for his heart. If he truly loves you he needs to say so, or explain why he's so miserable with his choice to get married in the first place.
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