A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I have come across a huge temptation to cheat. I am not married to the man I am with and am only 19 so the feeling that I should be able to do whatever I want is strongly in my mind, however I know that, that is never the case in life. Me and my boyfriend live together so things are pretty serious and I love him very much but temptation has come my way fast!He has been everything a gentelman can be but like all relationships have our problems! I am not a cheater but the man that has recently come back into my life has been around since I was very young and has always been a HUGE temptation for me. We were very good friends for years and I have always had a "crush" on him. We have started to talk again and we are suppose to catch up and hang out as soon as next week! But he has made his feelings for me very clear! I do not want anything serious with him, but I am afraid if I dont explore this temptation of hooking up with him he I will either A. always wish I would have or B. I will never be able to have a relationship with out having secret feelings for him! The consequences would be horrible to live with, guilt and all. But doesn't 19 mean living life to the fullest before you decide to settle down??? Talking to my boyfriend about this subject would never be an option either! It would be over in two seconds!So do I secretly explor my feelings for this other guy and cross my fingers and hope he never finds out. Or do I say no thank you and stay cozied up safe where I'm at never knowing???? He leaves of Iraq June 7th so this is it!P.S I have made it clear that I will not go all the way with him it would be no more than a date and hook u. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (22 February 2010):
 Once you start saying you want to do something but without the knowledge of your boyfriend, that's when you begin entering into problems. You say you love your boyfriend very much, but you'd be willing to risk being with him for self gratification. Even at 19, you know you can't have you cake and eat it too. If you don't go, you may wonder what if. If you do go, you'll live with guilt every time you see your boyfriend.
Think of it this way, you say you're not a cheater? Maybe so, but if you go behind your boyfriend's back, and go out with this other guy, you'd gone from not being, to being who you said you're not. It's also important to think about your personal responsibility for your actions. If you go out with him, it's vindictive to do so behind your boyfriend's back, because you'd be taking the choice away from him on whether or not he'd remain with you under these circumstances and doing so I'd really question how much you actually love your boyfriend.
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