A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We have been going out for almost three months, she tells me she loves me and we spend a ton of time together, talk every day and send each other messages constantly. We don't have a sex life, she always seems to stop things when we are about to have sex... We have no problems in our relationship, I feel like she loves me and loves spending time with me, but isn't physically attracted to me. Any advice or opinions would be very much appreciated, thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): Thanks for your responses. satindesire to give you some further info, we have had sex once after about a month or so of going out, and we have known each other for years. She stays at my apartment regularly and we sleep together in the same bed, there is no awkwardness and we kiss etc but as things are getting heated she tends to slow things down. I'm not the kind of guy to pressure her so I just go with it, but its starting to makes me feel un-attractive. I realize I can discuss this with her, but if I address it with her, I don't want her to feel under pressure that she HAS to sleep with me to make things better or think that if I invite her over to stay, that I'm only doing so for sex because that's really not the case.Again any thoughts would be appreciated.
A
female
reader, ohdear16  +, writes (5 April 2009):
 Ask her. Simple as that. It may make her feel awkward and such, but she needs to know how you feel and straighten up any misunderstanding and she cannot do that if she doesn't know the problem. For all you know, she may just be insecure and not ready for such intensity in the relationship. Be honest and ask her.
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