A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm sort of seeing this guy at the moment, it started out as a 1 night stand back in January but recently we seem to be making a habit of meeting in the pub for a few drinks and then going back to his house. I guess you could call us 'sex buddies'. Recently my feelings for him have been getting stronger and we've been getting on really well and generally acting like a 'real' couple.I keep getting mixed messages from him, he's not a very emotional person and I'm having trouble reading him, and I'm too scared to ask him outright whether he wants a relationship with me, as I have decided I want one with him. I don't want to be too direct as I think he might scare easily, how do I find out if he would be interested in a relationship? I think I'm giving the wrong impression as every time I tell him I like him I find myself making it sound like I think it's a negative thing or a joke(e.g. 'You are so screwed, I'm actually starting to like you for more than just sex')
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (6 April 2009):
 To a guy, he figures you know the score and he's pretty pleased with the situation. No strings sex. I think in this case the relationship was founded on the one night stand and what you are having now is a serial one night stand. I don't think that is a good foundation for a relationship. If you are falling for him you NEED to have the talk and then be willing to walk away if he doesn't want a commitment and yes some guys will say yes but just keep the relationship as it is so watch his actions after the talk.
Over the years I have found that guys do not respect women who they consider one night stands and most of them will not get into a long term relationship with them. Zarathrustra gave you some great advice from a male perspective though I am sure it will sting a little.
Take care...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): ok i was in this exact situation. i mean down to a t! trust me, he just thinks your easy and wants you for sex. You must stop seeing him because you are falling for him and you will only end up getting hurt. If he really liked you, you would know it, trust me! but it doesn't hurt to ask! but remember that its not words you need, its actions! dont believe everything your told! When i asked, he told me he wanted me to be his proper girlfriend, but he only said that so i wouldnt stop the sex!The minute a girl came along that wasn't 'easy' he fell for her! Even though we got on like a house on fire! if he genuinely wants what you want he will introduce you to his friends, take you on proper dates that dont have to culminate in sex and see you during the day.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Just tell him, plain and simple. Men like it simple. They don't understand complex messages needing to read body language. End if he goes for a runner, you saved yourself uuseless relationship months after which the pain would only be worst
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (5 April 2009):
 So you'll have sex with him but won't ask him out, Because you don't want to be too direct?
Wow you have done the most intimate personal thing humans can do, but you are scared to ask him out!
You have to talk to him and if he doesn't want to be exclusive with you do you seriously still want casual sex with him?
Get some self respect!
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A
female
reader, 1xxlaydeexxtitchxx1 +, writes (5 April 2009):
i personaly think that the best thing that you could do is ask him because some people you just cant read. when ur in the pub having a drink an u have got the currage say that u wont to ask him somethink important an that it means alot to you tell him your feelings for him and dont let him interupt till u have finished. this is the only real way that u will find out for sure. u never no he maybe feeling the same way if not its his loss good luck i hope everythink works out an i hope i have helped x
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