A
male
age
30-35,
*oker55
writes:I don't want my girlfriend to think that all I want her for is sex but it seems whenever I bring it up anymore that she just comes to the conclusion that that's all I want I don't know where this stemmed from she used to be ok with it now I just hate to bring it up anymore but I do have needs Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): well, truth be told, what else DO you want her for besides sex? Seriously. You obviously do ask her for sex (maybe more than she feels comfortable with?).
What else do you ask her for? Do you ask her for her opinions on issues that matter to you? Do you ask her for advice or suggestions? Do you ask her for her companionship that are not related to sex?
or do you not ask anything of her, but the one thing you do ask her for is sex? that can make it look like that's the only thing you actually want from her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): it sounds like you're bringing it up too much then. you can certainly satisfy your own needs solo without her so that when you spend time with her, let her dictate when and how often sex comes up. If you were not always the one bringing up sex, then she wouldn't feel that that's all you want her for.don't see your relationship as "I have needs, and she has to fulfill them" because looking at it this way then it really is looking to take from the relationship rather than give to it. And that attitude is probably what she's picking up on when she says you just want her for sex.(remember, as far as sexual needs go, you can masturbate and take care of your needs yourself. your gf is not obligated to take care of your needs for you. the sexual relationship should be mutual which means it has to be when she is in the mood for it too )
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): No, you don't have needs, you have WANTS. Don't confuse the 2.And at 16-17, it's not uncommon for a relationship which has progressed to sex to become solely about sex. You may not see it and may feel she's over reacting, but try to see it from her perspective.Ask her why she feels it has become all about sex and try to be understanding.
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