A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi I really need some help To bring you up to date been seeing my great bf for 1 year He is my first bf I'm 23 Started long distance but he now works close to me (not because of me Just where his job sent him)I hate it when he goes away and cry for days and panick if i cant contact him or if he doesn't text back that something's happened to himHe has been married and has kids He is still married to his ex Yesterday he was very down I put it down to him being away from his kids on fathers day He recieved a box of gifts but didnt seem too forthcoming in telling me what they were or anythingHe hasnt yet taken me to meet his kids as they live about 5hrs away and he only gets to see them once a monthSince yesterday i have got myself in a state I've been crying and nauseaus. I feel vulnerable and worried about our relationship. I don't know if it's because of fathers' day and me feeling excluded or what Maybe it's a stage everyone gets too I feel as though I need some commitment from him but don't know how to go about it I feel very confused Any adviceThanks
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female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (18 June 2007):
I can understand why you want more commitment from him, and i agree that he was most likely upset about being away from his children on fathers day. Perhaps he has not taken you to meet them because he doesnt want them to be upset about him bringing his new girlfriend to there once monthly visit. Maybe your upset when he goes away because you started out long distance and it reminds of when your relationship was more lonely. If you need to talk then you can always message me. Also, i think you should definately talk to your boyfriend about wanting more commtment, he may not even know that you are feeling this way.
A
female
reader, fairhalflin  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 Well...its very difficùlt.
He seems to be in a bad state.
I'm sure he's thinking of you but you need to tell him that if there is anything wrong...he could tell you. Tell him that you see that he's miserable so it affects your mood.
About asking him for commitment...eeek! Don't ask him for that. Men are weird. If you press something into his shoùlders...it can overwhelm him & he won't respond the way you want. You can't force a man to commit....he'll do it himself when he feels its right. I know it soùnds stupid but most men won't change something about themselves just because you asked him to. Get my drift?
I hope you do the right thing.
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