| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello,I have a strange problem in that whenever i find something good in my life or feel happy or am loved by someone, my family members start to become uncomfortable about it as if they would lose out in the competition of survival. They sometimes bully me so that i would readily comply and surrender by sacrificing everything i have good in my life to serve their needs. Because i have learned this behavior from the time since i was young, i almost always feel guilty when i get something more or better for myself and feel a compulsion to reveal the information or else i fear losing my family members trust and any kind of support they might be offering me. They often react by neglecting me when they see that i have found something better and am not sharing it with them. They feel inferior and insecure if they can't get to the same level as i may have reached with my all efforts. And i feel guilty and a sense of moral duty to liberate them of this complex they live in. The problem is i can't most of the times, and fall and get burned out. However, i can't let go of this notion that i can alter their thinking styles.. Please advice.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Your family are MISERABLE people, and they only way they can feel good about anything is to make everybody around them feel as awful as they do.
You are doing the same thing by trying to feel good by changing the way the feel to the way you feel.
STOP THIS CYCLE.
Dude, move away from them. FAR. And cut all contact for as long as you can. Once you are established yourself, and your own person, THEN you can allow them back into your life, without them bringing you down as much.
-Frank B Kermit
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): SWEETHEART,
Its time you started thinking of you and what makes you happy, As in my mind that is all that counts and your family should be thinking that to... At the end of the day if my children are happy then im happy. You cant live someone elses life for them just to please them.. It will in the end make you very ill. So stop feeling guilty get on with your life and be happy and if others dont like it its there problem, You are your own person love i hope this helped a little TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU XXXXXXX
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