A
female
age
36-40,
*ncited04
writes:There's this guy that I've been knowing for about 3 yrs now and I'm truly truly truly n love with him but he has a gf. Now let me tell how it all started.We met almost 3 yrs ago online and we were pretty much inseparable from that day. I remember it like it was yesterday. He always came over when he would get off work and most of the time he would stay all night. We talked everyday and texted when we couldn't talk for instance if 1 of us was at work. Now this went on for about 5 months but I was never classified as his "girlfriend" although everybody thought we were including his best friend. We never had sex just good conversation and we enjoyed each others company but we did have our intimate moments like holding each other, massages, and things like that. Now I made a huge mistake and slept with somebody else but at the time I thought it was ok since we weren't offically together. I ended up pregnant by this other guy and I felt it was only right to let my friend know. Well when I told him he stopped talking to me for almost a month but after trying and trying I finally got things back on the right path or so I thought. Things were back to normal for about 3 months before he was reminded I was preggo then back to square 1 we went. I did all I could to try and get things back to normal but after 2 months of trying he finally told me that I had hurt him and that he decided to get a gf because of it. I cried and cried and cried for almosty 3 months buit then I sucked it up and tried to move on because I had a baby now. It was 2 yrs before I ever saw him again but we still talked. Yes! 2 yrs! I finally got him to come back around but not like we were at first. Only thing different is that we started sleeping together although he still has this gf. I still love this man I really do even after not being around him for 2 yrs! I've tried being with other people but its just not right because I feel so strongly about this 1 particular guy but he still has this gf! I'm not ready to give him up as a friend but I don't wanna continue to be hurt either. What is a girl to do??-Going In Circles
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female
reader, cncited04 +, writes (18 February 2011):
cncited04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks alot!! Ur advice made me realize some things and u r RIGHT! I never thought of it like that. I only started sleeping with him because it was both our decision and I needed that because once we started back talking like normal I didn't want to screw up again so I thought that it was best for me to sleep with him then somebody else but I guess that don't really make sense now that I think about it. THANK U!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): You damaged him. If you want all of him again, you have to move a mountain and some. Do you realize that by sleeping with him while he has a girlfriend is only reassuring him that you can't be trusted to be faithful to a relationship. Sure it's him you're cheating with but you're still cheating. Geesh! You cheated on him in an unofficial relationship kind of way and now you're cheating again only this time with him. Right now you're nothing more than a FWB! Do you really think that's going to reestablish his trust and respect for you? NOT! Who wants a cheat and a home wrecker? This dude wants a respectable lady that he can feel secure with, and do you think you foot the bill????! The arrow points to NOT! Come on now, get it right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): You damaged him. If you want all of him again, you have to move a mountain and some. Do you realize that by sleeping with him while he has a girlfriend is only reassuring him that you can't be trusted to be faithful to a relationship. Sure it's him you're cheating with but you're still cheating. Geesh! You cheated on him in an unofficial relationship kind of way and now you're cheating again only this time with him. Right now you're nothing more than a FWB! Do you really think that's going to reestablish his trust and respect for you? NOT! Who wants a cheat and a home wrecker? This dude wants a respectable lady that he can feel secure with, and do you think you foot the bill????! The arrow points to NOT! Come on now, get it right.
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