A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. It's driving me mad! I went to an all girl school until I was 16 and since then i've had male friends but never felt attracted to any of them. Now that i'm at university all my friends have had so many boyfriends and the majority of them have had sex. I feel so inexperienced. It's never really bothered me as i just assumed it would happen when it happens. But now im getting to a stage in my life that I feel I should have had at least one boyfriend by now so start asking myself what is so wrong with me that no-one wants me? I wouldnt say that I'm pretty but I still thought that someone out there would fancy me at some point. Please help. I feel so much of an outcast.
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female
reader, kittikat  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 I don't think that because you haven't had a boyfriend that it means there's something wrong with you! I understand your frustration, but don't rush it. Take it from someone who rushed into a few silly relationships simply because I didn't want to be "alone". It was many years ago that I felt this way and sure I learned from it all, but in the long run being with someone just to be with "someone" suprisingly does NOT always validate you as a woman or human being. Maybe you're not getting out there and meeting enough people, or maybe you put off an unapproachable vibe. I had a period of a few years in my early 20's where I was feeling just like you and someone told me that I was a little intimidating because I didn't seem like I needed or wanted a man in my life. Eh, maybe I was doing that either to protect myself or maybe I was just too self absorbed to notice guys noticing me. Who knows? I think you should just sit back, be yourself and observe- you may just have a few admirers after all. Maybe you should do the asking out?
A
female
reader, aunty mel +, writes (29 November 2008):
Sweetheart, stop beating yourself up! You said it yourself that you've never felt attracted to any of your male friends so for goodness sake don't do something you might regret by doing anything with one of them just because you think that by your age you ought to have ticked off several boxes!! Your question really rang true with me - I was always the girl that got on really well with the boys but never had the boyfriends unlike my friends. It used to get to me too so I do understand how you feel. I also know that when you do find someone you are attracted to it will feel so incredibly good that you'll laugh over how much energy you wasted stressing about this - be patient. And by the way - your comment about not feeling pretty - please don't keep that thought in your head. Everyone's ideas about beauty are different and thank god that's the case otherwise we'd all be in trouble unless we actually were some brainless crack addicted model who only ate lettuce for kicks ;o) xx
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