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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Please help, I don't know what I should do!! It's quite long I'm sorry! I've been with my partner for over a year now but broke up for 2 months half way through the year after finding out he was cheating with who I thought to be his ex but turned out he never left her, I took him back because I love him so much, I can't imagine my life without him, don't know how I'd cope without him. I really thought we had moved on from everything and grown stronger, it was better than it had ever been, saw him in a new light. We planned to have a family after I thought I was pregnant but it came back negative, he said he really wanted to, then a couple weeks ago he asked for my hand in marriage and I said yes, all this was his idea but here goes yesterday. I had a call from a women asking who I was and why was I phoning and texting her boyfriend. My heart collasped, it turned out this was the same ex and he's been with her for 7 years, never left her, I don't know how he can do this, how did I not know... you can't live in two places, he didn't deniy any of it but keeps telling me he loves me and wants me. His ex phoned again to tell me that he's mine now, he's 44, a grown man, I can't believe what's happend. I love him so much and I can't descirbe the pain I am feeling. I don't know if I will ever get over this but should I take him back??? Need advice, please help!
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 He's 44. You're the hot younger woman. Is there 20 years difference? So when you're 44, he'll be 60 ish? Are you sure you want to do this?
A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 I wish I had some actual words that would bring you comfort. I know the pain you speak of. Its shock and grief and so much more. There is nothing anyone can do to make the pain go away. If there was, there would be websites all over the place with that information.
At least you now know the very worst thing that can happen and things can only get better. I am unable to let go of a man I love who is a huge womanizer. Love makes us so stupid!
I just hope that you dont take him back right away. Cut all contact with him and let him suffer without you!
If you cut off contact you are teaching him a lesson. If you ran back out of desperation you only make yourself weaker in his eyes. let him be the one to start feeling he screwed up and misses you desperately.
Don't take his calls, don't reply to his texting, keep this up for at least 3 months! During that time, use it to stay strong and keep your plan to yourself how you are going to get him back and have him suffer his loss ! Maybe in 3 months time you won't want him back.
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A
female
reader, Jadedgirl  +, writes (30 November 2008):
I really feel your pain, a v similar thing happened to me. My boyfriend went one better tho. . . He got his ex pregnant while we were going out and they had the baby while we were still very much together. He carried on seeing me for two months after his daughter was born! I found out when his ex contacted me. The thing is, men like this are pathetic weak cowards who dont deserve intelligent loving women. I beg you to finish it, because you deserve better and also because once the trust has gone how do you enjoy the relationship? I told my ex to go f . . K himself and have never spoken to him since. Five months single now, and yes sometimes its lonely, but it's a hell of a lot better than being the woman feeling sick to her stomach every time he goes out or doesnt answer his phone. I will leave that to his other girlfriend. Take care
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