A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heya, sorry to ramble on in advance but i feel so alone. Well to start off i have recently had an abortion, and i regret it so much. Im not in a realtionship but had been sleeping with this guy on and off for two years. When i found out i was preganant i was shocked and didnt know what to do. I told the father and he said 'i should think about this and am i ready' (basicaully told me to get rid of it). My head was even more messed and didnt know if i could go through with it ...I went to the doctors and had a scan, it didnt feel real, i booked the abortion. It was all i could think of, and stupidly started planning how i would effored being a single mother.The abortion date came round so quick so i reaagraned another appointment due to not knowing what to do. I talking to my friends about it and they suggested me telling my mother. I put it off for days and the more i did the more i wanted this baby. The father then kept txting telling me i would be alone and he wouldnt be around. I finally build up the courage to tell my mother and she told me to get rid if it, i explained how i felt and still insited i went of tge abortion. My head was everywere i knew i couldnt do this allow and i did want me bringing a child into this world knowing his father or granmother didnt really want to know this child and me strugglibg and not being able to give it everything it needs or want . I decided to have an abortionThis happened two weeks ago and although it was totally my choose i feel so depressed and alone. I admit with the way i am feeling im pushing everyone away, only today my friend phoned me and we argued as i didnt want to go out, and her reply was im boring and need to grow up. I am greatful everyone is acting normal but how can go arpund acting noemal after what i have done.I have also spoken to the father and now hes acting like nothing has happened and clearly said he didnt want anything more to do with me. I feel so alone, looking around everyone elses life seem so prefect and tgen its me, stuck in a dead end job weeking just two days a week, with my car off the road and not the mobey to get it back on the road, single and alone, finding myself locking myseld in my room day in day out. .All im asking is how can i get out of this rut before i push everyone away and left feeling even worse ??
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 April 2014):
 What you are feeling I think is normal. The choice you made and the decision you HAD to make by yourself is not an easy one. The fact that you got absolutely no support from the "sperm donor" doesn't help, it makes you feel totally alone with what you had to do. Not fair at all.
First of all. BLOCK him, Delete him from your life, the guy is a piece of shit.
Secondly, there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better. BUT I think you did the right thing. It may not FEEL right, but if you sat down did the financial side of it, factor in that the "father" is a useless prick who would be of NO HELP and your mom even thought it would be better - then hard as it was to do, you did what was best for you. Doesn't mean you will feel great about it.
Several agencies offer post abortion support. Find one that fits you. Don't let it linger. Get help. I think that the combination of pregnancy hormones and feeling alone with a ginormous decision that no matter WHAT you choose is HARD to do, can cause depression and you need to nip that in the bud. So get help. And STOP beating yourself up.
http://www.crosswaypregnancy.org.uk/post-abortion-support
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2014): You need to seek professional counselling for this situation urgently.
Pick up the phone in the morning and arrange it, via a religious organisation, your GP or anywhere you can get an appointment and fast.
It's nothing to do with your ex ( hopefully he now is ) or your friends and even your mother probably cannot be of the best support at this time.
Many women have been where you are now, and please don't feel alone.
Give yourself the time, space and support you need.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (9 April 2014):
 Take a look at this thread:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-anyone-who-has-had-an-abortion-provide.html
There were some marvelously compassionate answers there.
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