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I feel so heartbroken, even though I broke up with him.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *eeBee1986 writes:

So I've has a whirl wind 7 months. From the minute I met him he swept me off my feet and made me feel like the most special girl In the world!

So what was the problem?

His ex of 8 years who he has a daughter with, who left him and is now engaged, was nothing but bitter towards me and manipulates him through their daughter, this caused me such frustration. She's nasty about Me to him and seems jealous.

He hid a weed habit which has slowly come to the surface and when he smokes it he's like a zombie.

He's my brothers ex friend and my family werent happy about me dating him, another pressure on me.

He's 35, a post man. I'm 27, and work as cabin crew for Virgin. Looks wise it was clear he was punching above his weight with Me... Regardless of that I fell in love with him.

I asked him to please make a routine for seeing his daughter because I couldn't cope with the weekly bickering with his ex...that didn't change.

He didn't stop smoking weed

his parents are alcoholics who he lives with.

I felt that once I fell in love with him he started to manipulate me, perhaps an insecurity thing.

When he was drunk I saw that he messages an unnattractive lady saying she looked stunning in her pictures... From then I've had trust issues.

On the flip side we were in love but all the other factors were weighing me down.

After being away for 4 days on a trip I go to visit him and he's stoned.

I lost it and told him I'm changing my number...I felt it was the only way I could move on.

I really miss him and deep down want him to write me a letter to get my attention (he doesn't love far from me)

It's been a week. Was I drastic? Is it normal for me to feel heart broken even though I ended it?

I know he was in love with me... And know ones ever made me feel like he did.

Xx

View related questions: alcoholic, broke up, drunk, engaged, fell in love, heartbroken, his ex, jealous, move on, smokes

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'm with sage.

YOU were dating an IMMATURE CHILD man, who at 35 was living at home, smoking pot, fighting with his ex (no wonder she left him) and attempting to make you jealous by messaging other women, and let's NOT forget the fact that your OWN family... aren't happy with you dating him, BECAUSE? the can SPOT a loser. There is a GOOD reason your brother and him are no longer friends.

You have some anger towards his ex, which is unfair. You think she is NOT letting the child go to this MAN child because he is dating you? Have some common sense! That isn't about you.

HE is living with a couple of alcoholics and is busy zombiefying himself on pot - IS that really an environment ANY mother would want to drop their kids off at?

I would change my number if I were you, because I don't think you would be able to tell him to go kick rocks if he turned the charm on. You "think" you are SOO in love, but you are partly in denial, and partly infatuated with a guy you can't trust.

You want some GRAND gesture of love from him, like a letter.. A letter? Seriously? You will settle for a letter? Anyone can write a letter, anyone can make grand promises.... This guy? Isn't capable of keeping them.

Honey, STOP wasting your time on this guy.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (24 April 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntLet me rewrite your submittal... for clarity:

"I'm a 27 year old crewperson with Virgin Airlines.... who is quite taken with herself.... 7 months ago I met a young male child who is 35 years old(!) (8 years older than I am, incidentally). Not paying attention to what I was doing... I fell for this child. Then, after the appropriate stress and strain which occurs when an adult tries to interact with a child... we had that necessary, final spat, which - fortunately - resulted in my getting away from him.... Why don't I feel worse about this?"

There's no need to (feel worse).... You dun good.

Good luck....

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A female reader, BeeBee1986 United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2015):

BeeBee1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

BeeBee1986 agony auntThank you both. To the last response, why is it best for him that I changed my number? Surely he's at a loss losing me? :/

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015):

Why do you think it's best for him that I changed my number? X

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015):

Why do you say its best for us both? Isn't it best for me? He's at a loss is say...

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A female reader, XxSophie84xX United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2015):

You obviously had strong feelings for this man but I think you have done the right thing.

A 35 year old who lives with alcholic parents and smokes weed all the time isnt the best prospect of a relatiosnhip.

What are you looking for in your future? marriage? children? do you honestly belive you can get it with this man?

First he hid his addiction from you so that already shows he can keep secrets and not tell you the truth.

I know its going to be a tough road ahead and you will remember all of the good times but maybe yu just need to realise that he wasnt right for you, and you will find someone who doesnt lie and smoke weed like a chimney.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015):

You absolutely did the right thing for you both.

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