A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to my husband just over a year; We have a 1 year old daughter and one on the way. I feel like I have been trapped by everyone who is suppose to care about me. I had told my husband, my parents, my grandparents I was not ready for marriage but every body pushed me into it by use of guilt and threat. I want to have my life back I want to have fun again I feel like I am going crazy. My husband is not even interested in me anymore all he does is spend time on the phone and doesn't have any time for me. I can't move on bcuz I have 2 children and nobody wants anything with someone who has 2 children. I still want to go out and party and do all the things I use to do. I feel so hopeless and depressed. I feel like I have no control of my life; I feel so empty like I am walking but I am not alive. Please I need help. I need a way out. Please Help Me!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): I know exactly how you feel as I have felt that way also. I had three children by the age of 25. You may be suffering from pre-natal depression and should get it checked out just in case it develops into post natal depression. You life has changed and its sounds as though it changed really quickly. You have change from being and independent single girl, to be a responsible married wife and a mother of one baby and soon to be two. You have also become a house wife and your priorities have shifted.
Ok! if my thinking is correct it sounds as though you got pregnant first and because you were soon to be a mother you were forced into marriage. This is not really a bad thing as it shows that you and your husband have made a commitment to eachother. Maybe you thought it would have been better to do things alone as a single parent and maybe you didn’t really love him to start with. Only you know the answers to that. Now that you are married another child has been created and this again may have not been in your plan.
What you need to do now is EXCEPT your NEW life. You will never be able to get back to your old life. That life is over and is now a memory. However, it does not have to be all doom and gloom. MAKE A PLAN AND LOOK TO THE FUTURE. Treat yourself the way you want your husband to treat you. If he doesn’t buy you flowers have some delivered for yourself. If he goes out with his friends and will not look after his children then once in a while find one for yourself. Pamper yourself, make sure you look and feel good, after you you deserve it! Don’t do this forever with out disscusing how you feel though as the issues do need to be resolved and you will have to keep communication going by talking to him in order to keep your relationship alive. You can still party you just have to plan for it. Get the same family who forced you into marriage to support you. Good luck!
A
female
reader, bicknelll +, writes (1 February 2008):
i'm not gunna say say divorce him cuz thats not my place neither is it fair. but tell you what, you need a life whether you're 18 or 100! you only live once, tomorrow we could all be dead if you think about it. right tell you wat, your first step is to hire a babysitter and go out with some girlfriends. then pick a day of the week when you could make it a weekly thing. and i don't mean a night at the bingo i mean clubs bars! live the dream. then book a holiday for a few days with your girls and get some culture, go see the world! then hopefully your husband will appreciate you more. let everything he does go over your head! if he ever says anything mean to you or something you don't care about just say 'ok' lifes too short!
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 You need a way out of what? You know we all get older, and as we do our lives, activities and responsabilities change. It's a bit depressing. I know partying is fun. I use to do it quite often. I'm a single parent. I still go out every once in a while, but I love spending time with my kids, so I stay home most of the time and hang with them.
I think your relatives should have listened to you before. Weather or not you enjoy being married, you now have children. That's a responsability that your kids, who didn't ask to be here, deserve. Your actions are going to partially develop who they become and their beliefs.
Now the way your husband is treating you is uncalled for. He too has responsability and being on the phone all the time is not it. Being married can be a wonderful experience if both people are commited to making it work, and working together. With all this, you shouldn't have to rearrange everything within your life. Go out with the hubby. Take turns with other parents in babysitting so the parents can have an evening out. Life can be a blast, but its up to you to make yours that way. I'll tell you, from experience, there is no greater feeling than watching a child grow up.
Take care.
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