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female
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*ave the day
writes: i feel worthlessi feel i should be talking to a freind about my problems, but then they just say what you want to hear.so im here telling my problem. i feel really down today after too many arguments with my partner of 6 years its really getting to me.i have 4 children and i do srtuggle sometimes but i try my best, seems my best is not good enough for my boyfreind. hes always having a go at me about cleaning, he makes me fell so worthless i tell him that i do what i can in the day and its not good enough. he works all day i have a cooked meal for him when he gets back thats my appreciation to him.yesterday i got my spare money and thought ill paint my kids room spruse the house up a bit.not one little appreciation did i get from him saying you did good just more the house is a mess im lazy i sit on my bum all day on my computer when i dont, its a bit hard when i got a 2 year old at home too, he doesnt seem to get it. i have to put my fingers in my ears when he is shouting his abuse at me and i go upstairs and sleep away from him he upsets me so much.i really need to let this out i know it may seem silly but its making me so bad ive made an appoinment with the doctor because i feel so sad and maybe hes right, maybe i need to book my ideas up and do more. which everyone could but i will be so drained thankyou
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female
reader, anjie  +, writes (17 June 2009):
-Hi, I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I feel so drained and unhappy with myself I don't know what to do. Having a negative person heap more negativity on you isn't likely to help.
Sometimes being a stay at home mom is one of the most thankless jobs- you give and give but not rewarded. Even someone going to work receives a paycheck (reward) Encouragement goes a long way.
I do notice that when I am around positive people, I feel energized. (even if I initially did not want to be around others-the result is still positive energy)
I would do a couple of things in your situation. #1 plan to sit down and talk with your boyfriend and find out what he thinks is a fair for you to do during the day while he is at work? Take notes. Think about it. See if it is possible. If it is not possible talk with him and let him know what you think is practical for you to do. If he is open to helping you and this relationship. It may mean he might have to spend a weekend helping you get caught up with the stuff around house so you can start fresh and not be behind. At least if you talk with him and know exactly what his expecations then you both can be on the same page. Also, with 4 kids sounds like you 2 could use a rest away from the kids. May I suggest a great movie if you have not seen it? It is called Fireproof. Rent it have a reconnection time with the boyfriend. 2nd. You need to schedule time to yourself to be around people who energize you. Not the party scene-that will push you straight down. But meaningul fun. Also, here is a website where you can listen to daily broadcasts while at home. www.walkintheword.com. They are christian messages-very powerful and relevent for life and hope. Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): tell him to get lost. he sounds like a jerk. Does he do anything around the house? him just working is not enough. Your a fulltime mom. I know how it is. I have a two year old. They are clingy and somtimes you need to sit with them and play with them, they don't play on thier own yet and they also makes a mess right behind what you cleaned up.
Tell him to chill out or chip in.
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A
female
reader, dozymare25  +, writes (12 May 2009):
my ex was exactly the same about me and I had no kids. I went to uni and also had full time job so struggled to get all the house work, etc done everyday. I worked hard but he never helped me out with anything even during my finals.
I really feel for u as I know what its like when u work hard all day keeping the family going but get no appreciation.
Going to see your doctors is the best thing to do. they will be able to get u a councelor who are great to talk to & give great advice. Do u love him enough to try & make him see how much he's hurting u emotionally? Can you talk to him or does he not listen?
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