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male
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*roken Hearted
writes: Hi, I have been betrayed by my wife. I have only been married for 4 months, of which my wife left me the day after Christmas. The reason she give me was I was too affectionate and "in her face"; always wanting close intimate (you know what I mean) relationship encounters. Well, again and again she would tell me I was in her space, but I was so exicted about loving her, I was not taking that real serious because she always told me she loved me and I thought she felt the same. Well, the day after Christmas, she left me in anger, did not say good bye, and threatened to call the police if I did not let her get her things; Well, to say the least, THAT really surprised me and I stood out of her way and let her go. While she was gathering her things, I made sure she had a suitcase, and helped her carry her stuff to her car. I felt like she would be back because she always said she loved me. I still wear my wedding band and she doesn't. I tell her I miss her, and she is cold to me. To make it a worse situation, she is 13 weeks preganant, and has a serious lower back injury making her take narcotics on a daily basis. We talked since then and I asked her why she left, She said, " I left for medical reasons because you place a lot of stress on me and I felt my body breaking down" I feel so betrayed, hurt, and feeling bad most of the time. I do not get to see the woman I love grow with our baby, and be there as a provider to love and care for her. Could someone please help me understand why too much love will drive someone to abandon their newly joined marriage? I have always ( and still am ) been faithful, wearing my wedding band, and waiting on her to return. I miss her, but when we talk she is short, talking like she is "showing off" to a third listener. She even blamed me for not checking on her the week after she left about what she needed and what our unborn baby needed. I bought her flowers and tried to make her happy, but it seems I am the only one expressing feelings; what can I do?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (18 January 2006):
 Something doesn't add up here. Presumably she knew how you were before you married and that is the reason she said she loved you. How long had you known each other before you married? I am presuming a long enough time or at least enough time for her to be aware of how 'in your face' you are. Also the complaining about not checking up suggests she likes that in a way.
I have to say that my mind rest's mainly on the narcotics. What kind of narcotics is she taking and are they potentially mood altering? Even if they are not then it is prehaps the combination of the pain, narcotics and hormones that has lead her to wanting her own space. I would advise patience on this one. Give her some space but make sure you keep in regualr but not excessive contact.
If she does truly love you then she will come back to you. She will probably be all apologetic too. If she doesn't then she possibly wont. If she shows no signs of coming back after a few months then be honest with yourself and be prepared to move on. Be prepared for either eventuality emotionally. Don't torture yourself because from what I can see you have done nothing wrong.
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