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female
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*weetie Pie
writes: My friend was in a relashonship with this boy for about a year when one of her friends tells him she wants to break up{even though she really didn't}. Its been a few weeks since this happened and my friend still does like him but he won't listen to her.This guy asked her out the other day and she told him she needs to think about it.She thinks if she goes out with this guy ,that she doesn't even know,it would make her "ex" jealous,but won't that just make him think shes moved on? Basiclly what I'm asking is how can i get these guys back together?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (18 January 2006):
 It isn't your job to get your friend and her ex back together. In fact, it's not even any of your business.
Think about how you'd feel in her shoes. The relationship has gone sour for whatever reason, you're doing your best to deal with it... and one of your friends tries to set you back up with the guy!
It's a recipe for disaster.
The fact that her ex-boyfriend walked away from your friend because "a friend" said she wanted to break it off with him tells me that the boy doesn't care about your friend. If he did, he would have talked to her about how *she* felt, and whether *she* wanted to break up, not just assumed that it was true.
These things happen to very young kids when they just start dating members of the other sex. It happens because teens put more value on listening to their peers than on caring about their boy- and girlfriends. The lesson you can learn from this is that a third party should never think they have the right to interfere in someone else's relationship.
Be a good friend to your friend. If you really want to help her, remind her that strong relationships are not built on mind games, so trying to make an ex "jealous" is never a good idea. If she wants to see her ex again, she should simply go and talk with him about the mistakes that were made. And if he refuses to listen, she needs to accept that the relationship wasn't as important to him as it was to her. But that's OK; despite what she may think now, there will be other boys and other relationships.
Take care.
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