A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am in year 10 and am 14 years old and i feel my life is going down hilli have lost my ipodmy best freind of 10 years is moving to canadai feel ugly the boy i like is madley in love with another girli am shy i feel i have a rubbish life everything i do goes wrong i dont know why just things are getting bad.how can i make myself feel better?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou all for your help !!!
i would just like to say i feel a good right now
i have always had a self esteem issue and my mate said i was one of prettyest girls in the year (SHE WASNT JOKING BECAUSE SHE IS NOT LIKE THAT )
i still cant find my ipod but i have £50 so i may just be able to buy a new one
my freind is closer to moving to canada which isnt good news.
A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (14 January 2008):
 Mandy has written a good answer so in short i'm going to put "Make yourself feel better by focusing less on what's gone wrong and more on what's gone right." and if you can't think of anything, start doing stuff to make good things happen and therefore having good things to be happy and feel better about.
You just need to build your self confidence too. Being sad about everything else won't help you do this. Rely on the people you love, things will get better.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Firstly and this may not be want you want to hear but the kind of stuff you describe carries on throughout adult life so its important that you are having these things in your life to 'challenge' you if you like because its part of growing into adulthood. What I'm saying is we all struggle with things you describe and sometimes they get right on top of us. I have always found the best way of dealing with some of the negatives is to write them down in a list on the left hand side - then on the right hand side write down an opposite thing (related to it though) which makes it ok. For example - your friend is going to Canada (you will miss them that is the negative). The positives could be.... 1) Get Skype installed on your computer and you can chat for virtually nothing for ages and even see each other via webcam. 2) You might get an invite to Canada - so start saving some money :-) 3) You have a cool friend - hopefully the first of many around the globe and nowadays it is definitely trendy to have global friends. As for your shyness maybe a positive could be to keep a diary of ways in which you are shy and ways you are not. Focus on the not so shy stuff or find something that makes you feel less shy (maybe something you naturally enjoy?) - sport, art etc. Think of an easy way (emphasis on easy) to challenge your shyness a little so your confidence can grow. You feel ugly - that is a negative although I have to say I am feeling just the same right now so I have dug out an old book on make-up techniques and tomorrow I'm going to experiment with different stuff. Could you afford to treat yourself to something? The way I dealt with the guy I fancied at school liking someone else was that I made a play for a different guy right in front of him and after a while he got jealous. Start thinking of new ways to get a little spark going inside you and that kind of reflects to the outside world too. If you feel negative you look negative. Obviously we can't solve your problems but try and tackle each one with a small but achieveable project that will go some way to boosting your happiness. I know everyone probably says it to you but my goodness I wish I was your age again :-) Best of luck to you. Take good care x
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
Your friend moving to canada will upset you love but with the internet you will be able to keep in contact thats a good thing, You lost your ipod hunny thats just a matieral object yes I can understand its annoying but that can be replaced one day and the boy your inlove with Im sorry you feel so very sad if I where to tell you that one day you will look back on this and wonder why you got so upset you probably wont believe me right now, I was your age and inlove with the cutest guy at school and now I look back and think why did I feel that way, But we all do at some point hunny. Get some confidence back sweetheart dont always look on the bad side of life think about the good as well like the things that are really important to you, Talk with your friend and make arrangments of keeping intouch, My friend left for new zealand around the same age as you are and I felt sad but also happy for her as she was going somewere that was like an adventure to me ask her to sent you postcards so you have something to look forward to, And most of all hunny have faith in yourself I do hope you find your ipod love I threw my phone at my wardrobe and still havent found it silly me :) You take care if you need to chat message me anytime WITH LOVE AND HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): I know what your going through.A few years back my life was a misery,parents got divorced,back stabbing best friends,the shyness and i also felt ugly because of puberty.But with these things i think its best just to let time heal them.Even if it does take a lot of it ,usually it does, but believe me in the end you will be happier than you could have ever imagined.But if you want to at least try something you can try and listen to happy music maybe about stuff that your going through or how to get over a person.You can also find something you like and talk to other people more but listen to them and feel like you dont care what other people think,it helps so much doing that.As for your friend moving think of this as a time to change ,get to know yourself better and other people aswell.And as for the boy there is loads more and your still young and so is he.It isn't going to last at this age ,it may last for a few months or maybe a year but they'll soon relise that they are too young to get too serious.And maybe you will too.If you still want out with him i think that you should wait and dont show your feelings too strong and be less emotional and when they do break up be there for him.
Hope ive helped :) xx
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A
female
reader, I.miss.yooh  +, writes (14 January 2008):
Reading this question i saw that i have a lot of the same problems as you, so i hope my advice has helped.
Buy a new ipod.
You have to let your friend go..i know it sucks, but theres not much you can do about it.
Dont we all!.. Try to build up your confidence by changing your look..hair, make up, clothes etc..no ones perfect but im sure noone else thinks your ugly.
Try to become friends with him so he trusts you..And if they break up you can swoop in there!
So am i.. i know its easier than it sounds.. but try to act bubbly and friendsly towards everyone. Join a sport club or something.
Try to think positive, and dont let the crap stuff get you down.
much love xxx
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