A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together for about 6 months, and i have a 1 year old son. When i first met him, he always put us first and called and texted but lately he always puts his female friend of 16 years above me. He goes to her first with everything, and tells her every and puts her first.I've spoken to him about this and he says he doesnt, she said he doesnt and her husband said he doesnt have a problem with them.Apparently its only me, he sent me a message saying she is the closest person in the world to him and if i cant accept her he's going to break up with me.i care about him, but i really feel second best and don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): 'he sent me a message saying she is the closest person in the world to him and if i cant accept her he's going to break up with me.'
someone who was open to being with you in the long term would never say this.
leave him
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 April 2013):
 if he told you that you had to accept her or he would break up with you, he's telling you that yes you ARE second to her.
her feelings and her friendship comes before you.
I would leave him, her and her husband to their happy little threesome. and i don't mean sexually.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): When he threatened to break up with you (which was really immature of him) I would've broken up with him right then and there. He doesn't sound like hes ready to be in a committed relationship and doesn't sound like he cares or respects how you feel about the situation.
Nobody should ever feel second best in their relationship and a real man wouldn't make you feel like this. You should dump him and try to find someone who puts you first.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 April 2013):
 Does "been together" mean that you and he live at the same address???? If so, imagine the images of "family" and "adulthood" that your son is beginning to see and understand.... i.e. YOU are pursuing a man who has some "other" woman-friend who is his REAL "partner/best friend"..... and HE is putting aside YOUR (genuine) concerns that there ought to be something "family-like" between the two (actually, three) of you...
I'd cut him loose and find a REAL man- or boy-friend and partner....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): That is not a good sign especially for a six month relationship. I wouldn’t expect him to give up his friends, but if you are his gf, then he should come to you with things as well. I would honestly suggest that you slow things down. Don’t bring him around your baby anymore until you have been together a more substantial amount of time (at least a year) and then when you do don’t kiss or anything in front of him until there is some kind of commitment. It’s different when they are older, but young kids get attached easily and quickly. You would hate for him to get attached then for you two to break up. Take things slow see where they lead. Be careful getting into relationships when young children are involved and you are young too, so really consider your options. Good luck honey I wish all of you the very best and hopefully things will work out, bit just know if they don’t, you still have a lot a head of you, so many unopened doors and people to meet. Good luck!
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