A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together a year. I have been wanting to say I love you for around 6 months. I always assumed she loved me, but both of us were too nervous to say it first. So last night I said it to her, the reply I got was not what I expected at all...she said:'No one has ever said that to me before, to be honest I don't think I have ever been in love...I mean I would do anything for you, you make my heart beat so fast, my tummy jump and if I smell your scent on my clothes I just want you there beside me...is that what love feels like?'Obviously I couldn't answer that question for her, I don't know if what she feels for me is love. I always thought you just knew these things. I don't know what to do, I know you have to be patient with love but I just thought that after a year together she would maybe at least be close :S I feel ridiculously rejected and i'm worried about how it's going to affect our relationship now, I'm always going to be the one who has stronger feelings that the other...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 Rejected :)? What a beautiful , romantic rejection . Heck, your " rejection " sounds better than most of my " acceptances " , lol .
No, not everybody " just knows it for sure ". Particularly if she has never been in love before , she has no previous emotional experiences to compare this with.
Some people are just not good to identify and label her feelings... But, I think she just wanted to be a bit cautious. meaning, you obviously meant " love " as in true loe, serious love, forever love. She knows she is IN love (the tummy jump, etc. ) and does not know yet where this sensation is leading . Fair enough, I 'd say. In a way she is right, as long as you are stil in the honeymoon, butterflies-in-the-stomach stage ,.. you can't really really know if it is really love, or just infatuation.
Have faith, and have patience.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (9 May 2013):
I don't understand why you feel rejected from that statement; it didn't seem to be negative, although obviously it wasn't what you wanted to hear.
Just remember that some people are weird about love and saying it.
One of the best relationships I've ever had was for a year with a girl who could never say I love you. At the time I remember wishing we could say that word but I decided that her actions said it even if her mouth didn't.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 May 2013):
 ONE partner always has stronger feelings than the other. That’s life. Relationships need to be balanced and on the same level to some degree, but they are never exactly 50/50. BTW those feelings ebb and flow over time. All long term relationships have ebbs and flows and ups and downs. There are weeks I love my husband less than he loves me and weeks I love him more than he loves me. And the same for him. Relationships are not stagnant.
She so did NOT reject you. The feelings of rejection you have are your own creation. She could have said “thank you” which is what my husband often says to me when I say “I love you”.
She sounds very centered and grounded and in touch with herself. It also sounds to me with the heart beating fast and the tummy flip flops still going on after a year, that she is still in the honeymoon stage…
True settled love is not about heart beating faster or tummy dropping butterflies…
She WANTS to be with you. What else do you want from her?
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