A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok when I was 9 years old I had sex with my cousin... twice. It was her idea to do it but I was curious so of course I didn't say no. I think she was 8 at the time. Of course being 9 It's not like it made me feel good or anything, I didn't get a boner or anything. It was sorta awkward we were still kinda shy when it came to seeing eachother naked and she wouldn't take her shirt off. I moved away not long after it happend, not because it happened just because we didn't like where we were and now I'm 16 and she's 15. I saw her the other day at a family members wedding and lets just say there wasn't this much tension between us the day after we had sex. She didn't say one word to me and we didn't make eye contact once. I've never told anyone and I don't know if she has or not. The point is she is just tottaly different, she has become a, well I hate to say it but she's like a whore now and I can't help feeling somewhat responsible. I may never have to see her again but she is now my friend on myspace and she sent me a message that just basicly said "Hey how you doing, havn't seen you in forever" it's like nothing happened. I just wanna know if I should talk to her about it and see how she's feeling or if I should just let it go. What should I do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): Don't worry about it. You were very young and still are.
Lots of us have experiences like when we are growing up.
Its in the past. She wants to put it behind her. One day
she might remember it without shame. Follow her lead!
Have a good life1
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): i have a boy cousin that i explored body parts with. I must have been 9 or 10, and he was 2 yrs younger. I dont remember whose idea it was, but probably mine. Lol. I do think about it with embarrassment when i see him, but would never mention it. I hope he has forgotten...but i know i havent. I would be humiliated if he ever mentioned it...and we speak on occasion of mundane things. He is not the reason i am happily married, nor would he be the reason if i was not. File it away and close the drawer..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): Just what do you mean "had sex with"? It was her idea, you "didn't get a boner". So, you both took your pants off and rubbed against each other, and your penis didn't penetrate her vagina. Have I got that right?That's something that's happened with countless people, cousins, friends, neighbours, whatever. It's just kids experimenting. Ever heard of "playing doctor"? It's so common as to be meaningless. Kids were doing that a hundred years ago -- it didn't mean anything then, it doesn't now.I don't know what you mean when you say she's a "whore" now. I have to doubt that she's getting paid for sex, which is what "whore" means. Regardless, if she asked you to play doctor when you were all of nine years old, your agreeing to it has absolutely zilch to do with how she is now. Nothing. Nada. Get over yourself.If she's sexually promiscuous now, and she initiated "sex play" with you when you were little kids, then maybe she was born with a strong sex drive. At the very most you were incidental to what she is today -- which is consistent with the MySpace post. Drop the guilt. However she is now, it's nothing to do with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): You make peace with you had done on your own. Then if you ever talk to her it's fine. You don't know what was happening to her at the time. Eight year old girls usually would not suggest penetrative sex. It is very likely that there was some sort of sexual abuse in her life. It may be an older cousin or a teen or an adult who taught her this...Which is why it is important - if you did not coerce other girls into similar things - to make your peace with yourself.I don't think you abused her. You were both about the same age and children do explore... although mostly they don't have sex.She may need someone to talk to - if she chooses. But only if you are sure of keeping your boundaries regardless of physical attraction should you get into this now. Otherwise your chemistry coupled with childhood experience may start something that you may regret.
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