A
female
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anonymous
writes:I feel really lonely as I dont really have many friends and the ones I do have either arent good (they only treat me nicely when they want something, if they dont have a need to use me for anything they treat me like crap) or they are too busy with their bf's to really see me. So I spend pretty much all weekend at home with my family and although I love being with my family, I want a change here and there you know.Im a full time university student and I spent my first year at uni with my bf and didnt venture out to make any new friends. Me and my bf however broke up on the holidays. Last month I started my 2nd year at uni and I feel so so alone as I dont have a bf or any friends really. I do talk to other people andstuff but it never goes any further as in like hanging out outside of uni. It doesnt help that the majority of uni students spend all weekend drinking and im not into that. Im a bit to shy to really suggest anything to do with anyone and I feel like they dont really wanna be my friends cause they all have there tight as groups already so why would they need me, another friend? They dont. Any adivce?
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female
reader, rosemona  +, writes (31 January 2010):
Hello I am single female early 30's.I lost a lot of my friends who were not true friends. My live in boyfriend treats me bad cause i don't have any family to turn to. just graduated from college with bachelors and can't find a job. I am broke, lonely and wants so much to find true friends. my old friends were only there when they needed me and not there when i need them. i have no children i wish i did. i want so much to meet the right people. my family don't approve of me being with another culture other than my own, but i really don't like indian me. i feel scared like a little girl inside of me is crying for someone to hold me and love me. I wish i had good friends. I wish i was rich so i can help haiti now but i have no job and no money to donate. all i can do is pray. i feel so sorry for people who experience natural disasters all over the world and sometimes try to appreciate having a roof over my head but i need a true friend someone who would be like my sister.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Hi Hunny
You need to get that confidence in yourself so that you dont have friends that take you for granted and just use you, Thats horrible and can make you feel just awfull hunny. Plus its always hard when you have just broken up with your b/f to start all over again and find new friends and new things to do sweetheart..First hunny dont let these people treat you this way they are not your real friends at all, Im going to send you some links on how to get you self esteem up and when you feel better in your self and stronger you will be more confident to be able to say no to being used and find and approch new people hunny.....
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/sexandrelationships/relationships/200692.html
Here are two links hunny the last one is someone with a problem like yours with a great answer to go with it and a self esteem link at the bottom, I hope these two links help hunny if you need a chat at anytime message me WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your advice its helped alot :)
Yeah I know I should of maintained my friendships when I was with my ex bf, but in all honestly before I met him I was basically in the situation I am in now. All my friends had bfs so I didnt see them that much even though I wanted too.
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A
female
reader, LTron  +, writes (15 April 2008):
I can really relate to your situation. My first year of University was a lot like yours. All of my peers were always down at the bar (I'm a non-drinker) or at parties. My old school friends were with their boyfriends/girlfriends. It sucked.
What I can say though is that there are other people who will share your sense of fun. It might take a little bit of time to find them (it did for me!) but once you do it will be so worth it. I find that opening yourself to new people helps. Smiling and laughing makes you seem more approachable, and if you don't disregard anyone, then great! I treat everyone as a fun mystery. You unwrap little pieces of their personality with each conversation!
If meeting people in large lecture rooms is an issue (like it was for me) I suggest the old methods - joining clubs with common interests, maybe even something like a community college dance class? Whatever you feel like doing. I'm sure you will find people who are just waiting to hang out with you!
A good piece of advice in general though is to maintain friendships whilst in a relationship - it can be tempting to have eyes only for your boyfriend, but unfortunately boyfriends can be very temporary.
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