A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just finished college, and my last semester was one I unfortunately regret in many ways. I dated a guy for two years and he broke up with me right before first semester ended. He was my first serious boyfriend, and this hit me pretty hard. We tried staying friends (and were even friends with benefits for a while unfortunately) but he didn't treat me very well. I started going out to bars with my friends, and I ended up losing my virginity to a guy I just met while very, very drunk one night (yes, my bf and I dated for 2 years and we never had sex. I'm not on birth control which is the main reason why.) I ended up seeing the guy a bit afterwards but he wasn't for a serious relationship. Somehow, I ended up having 4 more one night stands (all while drunk). One was with a friend at least... I'm so disappointed with myself. I'm not stupid and I have common sense, but somehow I acted like a complete idiot my last semester. I was safe everytime and I don't drink anymore when I go out, but I can't help but feeling hopelessly guilty over my stupid, stupid STUPID decisions. How can I move on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): Thank you so much :) Even little comments like that make me feel a lot better. It's nice knowing I'm not a bad person for the mistakes I made, and that I could have done a lot of worse things. Thanks for the encouragement!
A
female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (11 January 2010):
Double M's right. You can't carry it round with you.
I went through a similar phase when I was a student and felt pretty stupid at some of the decisions I made but now I do honestly look back and laugh and remember (most things) fondly.
If you feel guilty, remind yourself that you haven't done anything really wrong - plenty of people your age do exactly the same and worse. Many continue this behaviour for years. You've made the decision to stop doing it. That's a really positive step. You looked at your life, worked out out what wasn't making you happy and took steps to change it - you learned from you mistakes. So many people never manage this, so be proud! Remind yourself that you've made the right decision now and congratulate yourself for being strong.
And remember - everyone is entitled to goof up once in a while. We all do it - so don't beat yourself up.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 January 2010):
 You cannot alter the past, darling. Just straighten up and move on. Do not blame yourself for what happened. Regret will only continue to hurt you. Future love with a good man will free you. Find him.
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