A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Heey,, im 14 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 months ( he turned 16 last month and im 15 in june) and everythings been going fantastic until a few weeks ago. He started telling me stuff. Stuff like he thinks about me when hes masturbating and gets errections over me. Hes recently been telling me all this stuff he wants to do to me and i know its natural for boys to want that stuff but i dont want it at the moment. I did let him finger me though as he was desperate to at least do that so i let him. He now wants me to do it to him ( if you know what i mean) but im scared to do it cause i wouldnt know what to do and could end up hurting him :S. He also wants to lick me out and wants me to give him head. He even wants to have sex with me but has made it clear that hes not going to pressure me in any way until im ready. I still feel very pressured though because its like i cant make him happy unless i do those things. ive said this to him and hes said im pretty and funny and he loves me no matter what and i believe him but i cant help feeling nervous when he comes round. i love him with all my heart but almost every boy i kno ( girls too) has told me im too good for him and that i can do much better. i dont want to do better im in love with him. when we met it was like a film. i embarassed myself and he smiled at me and my mates literally had to hold me up. since then weve been inseparable, going to the cinema or just cuddling up on the sofa watching films. i dont want to lose him and i know that doing these things would make him happy. im shit scared though and i really need help on what to do cause i dont want him to think im frigid. my question is should i do these things to make him happy even if i dont want to? and even if its a no please can you tell me what i should do if i do give him head or toss him off please ? thanks in advance :) M xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): Don't do ANYTHING with him unless you know for sure, that you're ready, you honestly love him and you really want to. You haven't been dating that long so my advice is, talk to him about it and just tell him you're feeling a little pressured and let him know what you just told us, that you don't think you're really ready to do anything with/to him. If he really likes/loves you, he'll understand and wait. If he gets mad, then he's just not worth it and it'd be all he's after if he gets mad about it.
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (16 January 2010):
 I am the sexually hedonistic, wild, and sinful person doing the nastiest, raunchiest sex possible. However, I am 22 and the women I am with are ready for it. When a woman is not ready for it and i truely like her (not love), I will wait for her.
You are a completely different case. You are FOURTEEN. You say you are not ready. You have your defenses up. When you feel like you want to take them down, then and ONLY then should you do stuff.
I am not saying be a nun, just wait til you trust him enough.
So if he insists and pressures you, leave him.
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