A
female
age
,
*ister1959
writes:My husband and I have been married for 8 months. We never took a honeymoon. This past week, I went to a conference for my job held at a very fancy resort about an hour and half's drive away. The room was paid for and so was my food and mileage. All we had to come up with was my hubby's eats. I practically insisted he go with me because he has been working so much overtime lately and it seemed like too good of a deal. I thought that we would have a blast together. I was so excited!Wrong! For the first two days, he seemed sullen and irritable. He would snap at me for no reason and looked like he wanted to be anywhere except where he was. I just figured he was still tired and trying to unwind although it was sure putting a damper on my good time. By day three, he was starting to unwind a little bit and I think he might have had a "wee" bit of fun but by this time, my mood had deteriorated. I guess I became annoyed at trying to "coax" him into having a good time. I tend to pick up my moods from others. If the people around me are happy, I'll be happy. If they are depressed, I get depressed. Well, we came home a day early so he could go to work Friday (he had originally planned on taking off). He was so sweet and accomodating on the way home like he finally realized that he had ruined our trip and kept saying that "looking back" he really did have a good time. Last year, I went with my sister and we had a blast. He asked me if I had more fun with him or her. I couldn't lie to him, I told him I had more fun with my sister.He says he just doesn't like to go places but before we married, he took two trips with an ex girl friend. They went to Chicago (his home town) and Cleveland (her home town). Both are much much farther than the resort we went to. I asked him why he went with her if he didn't like to travel. He said he guessed he just wanted to go. He has CD disks loaded with pictures of the two of them enjoying their trips. He took a few pictures on our trip but none of me. Just a few of the scenic area.I'm so hurt. I now have no desire to ever take another trip with him. I feel like he really let me down.Is it wrong to feel that way?
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (26 May 2009):
 Hi, thanks for getting back to us. Perhaps it was stress, you are with him day to day and know the chemistry between the two of you. Take care and good luck to you in the future.
A
female
reader, Sister1959 +, writes (26 May 2009):
Sister1959 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually, we have gotten along wonderfully. We have really never had a fight,just a few verbal disagreements. That is why his attitude on this trip blindsided me.
Usually when we go places, we giggle like a couple of kids. I figured that a few days at a fancy resort would be great and that he would love it. Even now after the trip, he is telling everyone what a great time we had (I must have missed something!)
He told me last night that he enjoyed the trip but that he was so uptight from working so many hours that he had trouble unwinding.
Now it's like he back to his old self and just wants to "pretend" we had a great time.
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (22 May 2009):
Hi there, I tend to agree with just about everything that popcycle said. There appears to be something in your history with him that has caused resentment, deep resentment. He acted like he really didn't like you and did not want to be with you on the trip. Maybe you see it differently, but there was hostility between the two of you on your trip. You need to dig out the poison that is eroding your relationship before it's too late. A therapist
or marriage counselor would probably be best and objective. Don't put this off, whatever is the root cause of this could destroy the marriage Take care, stay in touch. Good luck.
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