A
female
age
41-50,
*ored
writes:my husband spent 7 years going out every night and secretly smoking pot,now that has all stopped he spends every available moment alone upstairs playing on the computer. it just seems that he finds ant thing to do that doesn't include me,i'm so bored and frustrated, what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): My husband did started to get interested in the computer too, telling me he loved playing poker, solitaire so I beleived him hours would go by and there he was on the computer never letting me join in whatever he was doing. One day I went on and say plentyoffish.com thought it was a game and to my surprise it was a dating site, low and behold he had met someone on there and was having an affair with the whore.....and calling many others he had met this was my shy nontalkative husband...now we are trying to work it out but I am devastated to say the least...So INVESTIGATE!!!!!!!!!something is up to keep him interested...I never believed it myself until I found out.
A
male
reader, Truthfulrealisation +, writes (21 November 2007):
well, when you smoke pot it makes you like that, nice to see you got him to stop but this is the damage it does. Firstly ask his friends for help, because they can help while your not there, and that way you solve this problem on several fronts. Secondly, slowly get him interested in group things. For a while include his friends, then slowly drop them out of the equation one by one until it leaves you. This also leads to the posibility that he will tire of his friends and want alone time with you.
Anyway don't see this as negative, it's sorta neutral. Somehow get him to see his alone time as being alone with you. Although, don't force him to do anything and don't do anything you don't want to do, such as wasting your time playing games way too much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): What attracted you to him in the first place? If I am being blunt he is either avoiding you or avoiding reality - either way it isn't making you happy. Good plan would be to suggest things you can do together. If he doesn't want to then do them on your own. Give him the opportunity to change and say that you are bored and frustrated and unhappy. Be specific about what you want from the relationship. Put a timescale on change and if you are still feeling this way in say 4 - 6 months time maybe you would be better off with someone who is more interested in humans than computers?
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