A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Um, I hope this question is appropriate for this kind of forum, but it's the only site I can really find that seems reliable.Anyway... I'm confused. I'm a 19 year old girl and consider myself as such. I have crushes on boys, though I've only dated one. However, I'm more of a tomboy than most... like I don't act like a girl at all, and I feel uncomfortable dressing like one. Skirts are awkward for me, and I always feel self-conscious (usually I wear jeans underneath to make myself feel better). But when I dress "like a guy" (like the hawaiian shirt over the t-shirt kind of thing) I feel so much more comfortable. Does that make me transsexual or confused about my gender identity or am I just some kind of uber tomboy? Any clarification would help... I haven't told anyone about this...Thanks alot!
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male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Who's to say that you can't dress the way you want? As long as you clothing doesn't infringe on the rights of others around you, I saydress as you please.
I also wouldn't label you as transexual. You are simply a lady who choses not to wear gender specific clothing.
Good Luck!
Jeff
A
female
reader, hopelessXO  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 I'm thinking that your probably just really tomboyish. I'm the same way but not as extreme.
Trans means that you are uncomfortbale with your sex. Just cause you like dressing like a guy doens't mean that you want to be one.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Ahh..a fellow tomboy! I'm with you! The last dress I have worn was my wedding dress almost 12 years ago, and I hated even that! Heels absolutely suck, and I don't mind putting on a men's pullover or button down shirt. Feminine fashion sense escaped me long long ago, and I couldn't care less. Dresses don't make me feel vulnerable, they make me feel drafty, and heels are torture devices with 2 inch stilts. How the hell are they practical?! They should force men to wear those things. I've been teased before because I like flannel shirts and stuff like that. :)
You are absolutely NOT a transsexual, nor are you confused about your gender identity. You are someone who knows who you are, knows what you like, and to hell with what we're "supposed" to wear. You have *got* to be yourself, which means you like what you like, you look like what you like, and you do what lights YOU up, not society's image of a girl is supposed to be.
This doesn't mean you are a lesbian either. Ever see the movie "Some Kind of Wonderful"? Fantastic show. You don't have to be labelled ANYTHING except your name if you dont want to. You're free to like whoever you want to like at any time you want. No one can tell you what or who you are except you. There is NOTHING wrong with you.
One of the things about sticking to who you are and being self-confident about it is that you'll eventually meet the right guy who is attracted to YOU for who you are, and the relationship will be much more meaningful and honest.
My (fellow tomboy) 2 cents. BTW, I *hated* girl toys growing up too. :P
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 lol.. glad you think we are reliable..
Sex is one thing, clothes is another, there is nothing to say your not feminine or your a lesbian if you prefer to dress in (boys) clothes...
You are transexual when you hate being a woman, hate your body form, the periods, and everything else... many transexual are genetically men, but their woman parts grew because of chemicals in the body.
Your a lesbian if you fancy women...
You like the style of men's clothes because they are comfortable and easier to wear. Probably you like things that are unfussy, nothing wrong with that...
Your young, your style of clothes may change later. Many young women find it hard to wear skirts or dresses, they feel it makes them feel vulnerable. Your style may change or it may stay the same.. no problem.. tons of women wear male styled clothes.
Please don't stick labels on yourself, at the moment your a girl who likes to wear comfortable clothes, so prefers not to wear skirts and dresses.. :)
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A
male
reader, Ovid +, writes (7 June 2010):
No. If your femininity shows through in a style, even if it is in mens' clothing, what should you worry about? A real man will recognize a real woman if she lets him and not be intimidated in any way. Of course, you might get hassled by insecure folks who think their clothing is the same as their sexual orientation. But that's their problem. You are not the only woman who has ever faced this. See the movie "Pumping Iron: the Women" and find out how a woman that had more muscles than most men was more feminine than most of her competitors. You are in a very large group. There is nothing wrong with you. Ovid.
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A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Seems completely normal to me. Gender is only a concept - invent yourself as you want to. You can be straight and dress like a man. You can be gay and dress like a woman. None of this makes you any which way.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Well, I would say that you are a little confused about your sexual identity. There are plenty of straight people out there that are similar. My fiance is one. She only wears things like dresses on occasions when she has to be at a fancy event around her family. But mostly she's a jeans t-shirt girl. She has a boy haircut. And she prefers more manly things then feminine things. I think it is something you should study more about. I hope the others can further answer better.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (7 June 2010):
Well, I would say that you are a little confused about your sexual identity. There are plenty of straight people out there that are similar. My fiance is one. She only wears things like dresses on occasions when she has to be at a fancy event around her family. But mostly she's a jeans t-shirt girl. She has a boy haircut. And she prefers more manly things then feminine things. I think it is something you should study more about. I hope the others can further answer better.
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (7 June 2010):
 Blimey oh riley, that is a big confusion to have when its based purely on your fashion sense.
When you say you dont act like a girl, is this a conscious decision? does acting like a girl subconsciously mean bad things in your head, or is it purely for comfort that you prefer to wear baggy jeans, t's and shirts.
Did you grow up with any feminine role models, or were you in a predominantly male environment, or a terrain that required comfy clothing. These are all questions that dont need answers, but may help you discover why you are like you are...
But the main question is............are you happy with how you are, if you are, be confident with it, I honestly can't see why its important to label yourself.
If you are this way naturally, and not hiding your femininity by acting as a bloke, then I dont think you have anything to worry about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): it's normal to dress 'like a guy'. you shouldn't be so self-concious about yourself. i don't think it transexuality. but it's perfectly fine if you dress how you dress. i find it normal, 'cause that's your style. if no one likes it, too bad. you're just an ordinary tom boy (:
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