A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m really lost in life. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t find any work and I’m just passing life by. I have wasted my 20’s trying to work hard but I just get used by companies and thrown. Now I am trying to find work and I have resorted to minimum wage, and I got rejected which has really broken me down. To avoid this I am forcing myself to watch comedy and funny things as the pain is quite high. Reason I come here is not for advise on jobs but on how to control my thoughts. I cannot watch tv, everything makes me think how people are able to buy things and live. I spent years studying various degrees and doing everything by the book and the result is unfair. I have slowly lost everything as money is needed to maintain. My clothes have become torn (some 8-10yrs old). Not to worry I spent all the money I had on a new suit and tie for interviews - I make sure I look business. But in my personal life I have had to withdraw. I lost my car as I couldn’t keep it, I come back everyday with wet feet as I have holes in my shoes. (Only when I go for interview I’m okay as I have new shoes for that) My personal life has suffered due to focusing so much on jobs. And it has got me nowhere. Friends have moved on because they probably don’t believe you can be this much of a fail and it’s annoying for them to keep having to listen. Due to lack of funds I’m also a lot of the time home. People enjoy weekends or evenings off, I sit at home applying for jobs. People enjoy Xmas or New Year’s Eve, I was out scanning jobs for last min jobs starting New Year. I can never enjoy the moment. I am an optimist, no one can beat me. I will succeed. Until now, I just feel tired again. The thought of doing it all over again makes me want to cry. I need to snap out of it and go face the world with my fake face. No one has to know. Thanks for listening.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 January 2020):
 I'm sorry things aren't going as well ans they should. Have you tried temp agencies?
You didn't mention what field you are in or have studied for. So maybe you can't go through a temp-agency, but it might be worth a look.
As for clothes, check out resale/thrift-stores. You can find nice things there that will hold you over until you can replace them once you have a job.
I would also suggest if you have friends in the same field, ASK them to be on the look out. And former coworkers (if you are still in contact with any). DO NOT be too proud to ask for help. Family and friends.
Unemployment/work/career centers is another option (not sure if you have any in your area).
My brother had some struggles when he first started out because he didn't really have any idea of what he wanted to do. My mom got him into a program, that led to another job and then another and then... (late 20's) a career. Fun fact, he got hired (as an IT guy) not because he was the best qualified but because of his job application. They really wanted to see this "nerd who rode horses and cross country mountain bikes) and they hired him on the spot. So DO NOT be afraid of letting some of your personality shine through in your applications. If your current application doesn't reel them in, keep tweaking it.
While it's good that you have a good suit for interviews make sure you are also presentable as far as hair and hygiene.
I know it sounds like you are on a hamster wheel going nowhere but it WILL happen. Keep your chin up and keep at it, AND... don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family if you need. it. They won't think LESS of you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2020): Thank you for your reply. So it must be even worse if I have done all those things you have mentioned. I borrowed some money to buy a new suit, shirt, to make sure I look as perfect as one can be. My cv has been looked at by many professionals. My interviews go great, but I get the silliest responses the next day.
In terms of being pro-active for job applications. I have done everything you have mentioned. I just need to keep going as I have had some good help.
The sad reality is that as I have had to prioritize my money for interviews and jobs and basic living and this is visible to my friends. Slowly I have been left out of outings as I do not spend so much. This is completely understandable I do not want to make anyone feel bad. However recently I spent the whole week alone. I messaged many friends and one responded with come over. So i quickly got ready and I walked 4 miles (1hour.20mins) to his house only to get a message that he is going to sleep and we should meet up another time. I walked back quietly another 4 miles just wishing I could speak to another friend who would just listen, and laugh with me.
I do not want to share my story but just to talk about the news and laugh about jokes. So I guess the most difficult thing is lonliness. - yes i know the suggestion will be to go speak to some stranger who has no relation to me whatsoever.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (19 January 2020):
 First things first, you are not a failure just because you have had some bad luck in your working life. While you keep trying, you are not failing. Failure involves giving up but you are not going to do that, are you? As long as you can say "I will try again tomorrow", you have not failed.
Most of us have had a touch of bad luck/hard times in our life (I have been made redundant four times over the years and had to start again). Sadly the employment market is tough these days. Don't beat yourself up because you are being turned down for minimum wage positions. There are usually many applicants for one position and employers need to pick just one. If you have degrees, they may feel you are overqualified for the job and will only use it as a "fill in" until you find something better.
Are you actually getting interviews? If not, have you had someone look over your CV to see how you can improve it? It always pays to "tweak" your CV for each job, making the most relevant experience stand out. I am not advocating lying but . . . I have qualifications which I have chosen to leave off my CV in the past so that I don't look overqualified for a job. You just have to remember to fill in the "gap" with something else.
If you are getting interviews but not job offers, perhaps a bit of research into interviewing well would help. There is plenty of information available and tips about having a good interview. Someone recently posted a question on our local Facebook page about this very subject, asking for tips and advice, and got over 100 replies, many of them giving very good advice.
Don't limit your search to job advertisements. Be pro-active and send out your CV to companies for which you would like to work. This does not even need to involve postage as you can choose an area and walk round. Be pleasant to the receptionists or whoever answers the door, as it can make all the difference whether they like you or not as to what they choose to do with your CV. If they like you, they are more likely to pass on the CV to the right person. Don't forget to pop in a covering letter with the CV and to thank the recipient at the end for taking the time to read it. Manners always go down well and cost nothing.
As for the clothes, unless you are really down to your last couple of quid, there are always good clothes to be found in charity shops and on car boots. You can get a decent pair of shoes (without holes) for a couple of quid, and clothes are often £1 and item or less on car boots. If going to car boots, never be afraid to barter, especially if you want more than one item. Stall holders expect this. It is not being cheeky or expecting something for nothing. It is the name of the game. You could come home with a whole new wardrobe for a few quid.
While checking out charity shops, ask if they need volunteers to work there. Voluntary work will get you out and about, help you meet people, give you new skills and, on top of all that, look good on your CV as the employer will see you have kept active and are still in "work mode".
If it is that you really ARE down to your last few quid and it would mean a choice between clothes and food/heating, then please find out where your nearest homeless assistance is. These places help not only the homeless but also what they term as "vulnerable". They usually have a lot of good donated clothes and can kit you out so you are not walking around with wet feet or with holes in your clothes. You can "repay" them when you start earning again. They can often offer advice and help on applying for jobs as well.
If you are on benefits, make sure you have fully investigated all entitlements. The system is there to help people when they are in need. You paid into it when you were working. Now is the time to get help to see you through this rough patch.
Good luck with your search. I hope you find something soon.
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