A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a divorced dad with joint custody of two younger teen children I get on great with, for 9 months. He works away three days a week and we only have two free week ends a month. I also see him on a week night. He puts a lot into his work and children and I travel an hour to his to spend time with him. He comes to mine once a month. I am struggling to fit in as the children have so many various activities at the week end and its constantly rushing around to their sport events and its exhausting after a week's work. For thos reason I dont always see him with hos children. I have an adult child and lots of free time but I miss romance and lack of time for intimacy. I cant move to his as I have a client base near me. I feel there is never time for us to just "be". He has a lot of good qualities but night after night I am alone after seeing friends and keeping busy my end. His ex left him when the children were small and has been no trouble at all. I just feel neglected more than anything. I have tried talking to him and he is sorry he doesnt have more time for me. Should I just accept this is as good as it gets with him.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 April 2017):
 I think you do need to accept that this is all he has to offer at the moment. He is putting his children first, which is great to see. But if you feel neglected then their really is no point you putting yourself through this.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 He sounds like a REALLY good dad but maybe NOT the best partner for you.
He HAS his priorities straight, though - kids and work first then fun and dating. So that leaves you in category 3-4, maybe lower.
If you feel you are lonely and not being fulfilled he might NOT be the right guy for you. I think expecting him to change or put you higher on the list of priorities is unrealistic. Sorry.
Maybe you need to consider finding someone closer to home whom you can spend a LOT more time with IN person. Who fulfills your needs.
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A
female
reader, mad stacey +, writes (4 April 2017):
You are complaining about him being busy not finding time for you but your not prepared to move and its only a hr away many people travel a hr to work everyday....i think there must be other issues as your not prepared to make changes or be happy with 2wkends a month child free ,why did you get with a guy with kids if you couldn't be bothered to support him being a dad ...your at different stages of life , let him go find someone who is happy with his life style
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (4 April 2017):
 As you know, he comes as a "package" with his children. He sounds like a fabulous dad and is probably also trying to make up to the children for their mother's absence.
Could you two perhaps get away for a break once in a while? Can someone look after the children for a long week-end?
How do you see this relationship panning out in the long run? The children are going to need heavy involvement from their dad for many years to come yet so this is not just some short term commitment.
I really don't know what else to suggest. He sounds like a genuinely nice guy, yet the two of you are struggling to find time to sustain a healthy relationship. Hopefully someone else will be along soon with more ideas.
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