A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, i have a little problem. i got married young and we been togeather for 5 years and married for 2, we have 2 kids togeather.well lately ive been questioning my relationship with my husband and i feel like we are not meant for eachother i felt this way for quite awhile but just ignored it but now everything is starting to come to light and realize how different we are and we just dont click anymore, i dont want to walk away because i do love him but i feel like these differences are becoming to much for me. i mean i really dont know what to do because like i said i really do love him. any advice will surely help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (16 September 2010):
 It is a myth that you and your spouse have to have a lot in common. Who wants to marry themselves.
You have children now, you owe it to those kids to do the work of marriage, and if you thought you were signing up for a life of romantic walks and endless goo goo eyed sex, then you were very naive.
More than likely there are areas in your life that need a tune up. You may have given up too much of yourself to be a wife and mother, it is time to reclaim some of those things that make you uniquely you, or to find your purpose in life, perhaps it is to start a group in your community that is for a cause if nothing more than to create a community of women who support each other. Your husband and your kids cannot be responsible for your entire fulfillment and happiness, that has to come from inside you. Changing partners is not likely to fix that for you..and in fact you will be left with some devastation in the aftermath of your fractured family.
I am not saying that you don't have a right to be happy or to end this marriage if you just find that you can't make it work, but before you do that, do the work and earn your way out of the marriage.
This is a really good book that might help your family. Because you aren't living in a vacuum, you have family dynamic and it may need some work, so give this book a try for starters. Maybe seek some family or couples therapy as well.
Good luck.
http://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-Families/dp/0307440850
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